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A WWF review & a poem

Posted by smkelly, 25 February 2010 · 205 views

I downloaded Jericho vs. the Rock 10/21/2001 and skipped through the match making sure it was a legit file, which it was. A spot in the match caught my attention; it was when the Rock gave Jericho a dragon screw. He did the same unusual fall in that match as he did against Danielson on NXT.

I went through and watched the match anyway, and here are my thoughts:

Chris Jericho vs. the Rock 10/21/2001
• Match is for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship – a title that hasn’t had any credibility for about eight years prior to this match.
• The typical, yet excellent video montage of why we’re here, and why Jericho and the Rock are feuding with each other – the WWF has always excelled in this region. Their video packages can make or break a feud.
• I still find it surreal to hear anything WCW related on a WWF Pay-Per-View. I still think the WWF completely bombed the Invasion angle – and I am not alone in that thinking. It could have been a legendary success; instead, it turned out to be a legendary failure.

The match:
What worked:
• Jericho was a man possessed in the opening minutes of the match, as he really took the fight to the Rock. I wish Jericho would have flairs of this aggressive side occasionally as a heel.
• Jericho acting all smug like in the match, like with the boot scrape and throwing his elbow pad in the Rock’s face was awesome.
• JR’s analytical observations and generally solid to excellent announcing is surely missed.
• Jericho’s flurry of offense including a nice hurricanrana up to the finisher theft was well scripted.
• The contrived announce table bump of the WWF’s. Yeah it is obviously planned, orchestrated and all of that jazz…but it is still neat.
• The People’s Elbow counter into the Walls of Jericho – it was extremely fluid and well performed.

What didn’t work:
• This is petty, but why did the Rock throw Jericho to the floor, only to toss him back in without brawling or making Jericho headbutt random things?
• The theft of finishers and subsequent abandonment of proper pacing, and selling was not scripted well. There was no drama behind it, and I think it cheapened the moves. Jericho hits the Rock Bottom and immediately hits the Lionsault, and then immediately covers the Rock for him to kick out. There should have been that pause, that momentary stall, and then Jericho crawls over and makes the pin attempt, only for the Rock to kick out at 2.9. The crowd would have erupted, and it wouldn’t have cheapened two finishing maneuvers – at the time, the Rock Bottom had pinned all of the mega stars (‘Taker, Austin, HHH), while the Lionsault covered all of the lower tiered guys (Angle, Benoit, Kane). The way things went down; I think it discredited both moves simultaneously.
• The Rock’s sharpshooter. Yep, I am a part of that camp. I have never liked the way he got his opponents in position for it, how he turned them over, how he locked it up, or the fact he does it standing up. The way he performs it makes it look phonier than it really is. Also, I find it disrespectful for him to be using it since it was Bret’s finisher. I find it very disrespectful. Outside of Eugene’s comically usage, no one else uses the Rock Bottom. No one will be doing tombstone piledrivers after the Undertaker is gone. I know damn well that Pedigrees will not be seen after HHH stops doing them. I just think it is tasteless, like how HBK started doing the cripple crossface.
• The end of the match was a ball buster for me. I had never viewed this match prior to this, and only knew Jericho eventually won. I didn’t know he would win his first World title by stupid interference of a steel chair. This was a bad contrived spot. Obviously, Stephanie wasn’t going to use the chair, but conveniently placed in the ring so the Rock could get his head bounced off it. Jericho had already trapped the Rock in the Walls of Jericho, worked his back over a bit with backbreakers…so why couldn’t Jericho make him submit instead of the cheap finish?
• Stephanie’s abysmal selling with the Rock Bottom. She was on her feet too quickly post-match.
• No blood, and a poor false finish – those are absolutely crucial to huge matches of importance. The blood sells the violence and hatred of the match and the false finishes builds drama to intensify the crowds’ reactions - and while it did pop the crowd, the aforementioned finisher theft negated the effects in my eyes.
All the while, it was still a decent match.

***3/4

I wrote this for my Intro to Creative Writing class...

Like Superman vs. the Hulk
The fans were like zombies, blood lusting as Dracula.
The men in the ring sturdy as concrete
were the martyrs of entertainment like sacrificial meat puppets
in an arena like an abattoir.
The champion was typically aplomb in the squared circle like the Fonz,
but tonight he was curt as search warrant.
With hands like lead and bodies like diamonds,
they battled as Gladiators, while howling like Wolf Men.
Two men of epic proportions like Everest, struggling as single mother,
I am stuck in time like Marty McFly, and my eyes deceive me like a hallucination.
It was as though they were being controlled like marionettes,
their fury and rage unquenchable like an F-5.
Before long, the champion like Achilles was bleeding like a bank,
I was smiling like a jack-o-lantern, nodding in approval as Caesar.
The quasi Brad Pitt resorts to chicanery like Satan,
and unleashes a whirlwind of violence like a wolverine.
But Umaga refuses to be slain like a hydra,
Cena must solve the puzzle as Sherlock Holmes,
and uncover the weakness of his opponent like Lobo.
Cena lifts Umaga like Sampson
and pauses like TIVO, but suddenly tosses the man like a hot potato.
Umaga flies as a space rocket and floats like a feather,
lost in space like Boba Fett, and crashes to the mat as a meteor.
The white titanium laced ropes slither into play like an anaconda,
and with a tormented smile like the Joker,
Cena drapes the ropes around the throat of Umaga like a noose.
I am marking out like a groupie!
The announcer yells like a hyena,
and the crowd wants resolution like an AA member.
Even monsters have to breathe like Hannibal Lector,
as Cena chokes Umaga like Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl,
his eyes roll into the back of his head like a heroin junkie.
The large Samoan’s tongue rolls out like Jabba the Hutt’s,
but the war is far from over like chemotherapy.
Cena presses on like a Marine and suffocates the fight out of Umaga like divorce,
but Umaga’s will to stay awake is like an insomniacs,
and he rises from the ashes like a phoenix.
This is $44.95 well spent I think.
With millions of fans’ support on Cena’s back like Atlas,
he pulls out a miracle like on Elm Street.
The beast has been bested like the Yamato,
and I am at home testifying like Martin Luther King Jr.
The square-jawed wrestler like a hit man has bested the Goliath as David,
I am beside myself like a lottery winner.
5 stars are what I wrote, the Starry Night of wrestling.





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