[1992-11-21-SMW-TV] Down and Dirty: Jim Cornette

[Loss]

Talk about it here.

[Loss]

Is it true? Has Lane gotten rid of the toupee? Cornette has to wrestle today, teaming with the Bodies against the Rock & Roll Express and Ron Garvin, and man is he HOT about it. Where and how did Corny get an All Japan Pro Wrestling jacket? In all seriousness, this is possibly one of Cornette's all-time best promos. Everyone in wrestling should watch this.

[Tim Evans]

I'm guessing he got the jacket from Prichard when he toured Japan? Awesome serious promo by Cornette.

[shoe]

Agreed this might have been Cornette's best promo this year, and he's done a lot of good work this year. He's even bleeding from the mouth.

[El-P]

Hallucinating promo from Cornette. Just amazing. It's one of those rare occurence of legit "money promo". It's a must-see, GOATC promo.

[Kevin Ridge]

I was fixated on Stan's hair and Cornette's All Japan jacket for a few but Cornette delivers the goods on the mic.

[PeteF3]

A fucking clinic from Cornette. One of the most mesmerizing promos of the year.

[WingedEagle]

Cornette starts off talking about 6 man with him & Garvin, then delivers an awesome promo setting up all of the Thanksgiving Thunder matches b/w Bodies & RNR. Does a hell of a job selling the shows because he's so zeroed in on a particular message and selling those shows. This is so awesome compared with his promos where he's rambling and throwing out tired one liners.

[GSR]

Cornette isn't happy about the upcoming six man tag match and says that it's a con job! He says that everyone knows he doesn't belong out there, isn't an athlete and shouldn't be forced to wrestle and whilst the Heavenly Bodies can take care of themselves, now they've got to worry about taking care of him. It's all a con! The Rock & Roll Express came up with the 'four faces of fear' match for Thanksgiving Thunder, but now they're trying to chicken out of it, now they've got to have some sort of advantage. They go to Bob Armstrong and make up this 'dream match' which people have supposedly written in requesting, they needed an advantage and knew that if they got him in the ring then they would have it. Armstrong then claims a conflict of interest for him, so signs Ron Garvin to take his place in the match. Cornette says that they will be alright though, he doesn't know what they are going to do but they are going to do something, and the Rock & Roll Express won't get their hands on him. The Express think that if they put him out of commission he's not going to lead his men at Thanksgiving Thunder, that he won't be able to advise them from ringside, and that will give them the advantage. He states that he will be there and that they have the advantage as Robert Gibson's hand isn't 100%, and who knows, something may happen to Ricky Morton too so he's not 100% either? Cornette says that no-one can go through the 'four faces of fear', the four most dangerous matches in pro wrestling, on four consecutive nights without getting hurt so at some point someone will get hurt bad, and they plan on that someone being the Rock & Roll Express. He then runs down the dates, venues and each match in the 'four faces of fear' (falls count anywhere, Texas death, street fight and barbed wire cage) explaining them all and what may happen. He tells the Rock & Rolls that at some point they will look the faces of fear in the face and when the Heavenly Bodies are beating them up so bad they'll ask the referee to stop it, but he'll say he can't, he doesn't have the authority because you asked for it to be that way. They'll then ask him and will say 'please pull them off us', but he'll tell them no because you were stupid enough to ask for it and he doesn't feel sorry for stupid people. Then when the Bodies are stood with their arms raised, the belts over their shoulder and the Rock & Roll Express are lay face down in a pool of their own blood they will realise they've seen the face of fear, and it was the Heavenly Bodies!

 

This was an amazing promo. For five minutes Cornette just talks and draws you into the upcoming series of matches on the Thanksgiving Thunder tour, he starts to focus on each match, explaining what will happen and reeling off the dates and venues too and the promo turns from amazing to incredible. Cornette even gives himself a nosebleed from the intensity and with how focused he is. Replaces the 6/27 promo as 'promo of the year' and really is something that everyone should see and should be shown to every aspiring wrestler.

[garretta]

This is, hands down, the best promo I've ever heard from a manager anywhere at any time.

 

When Corny's funny, there's no one who's more enjoyable, but when he turns serious, the man is legit scary because of the sheer venom he can project. I've heard managers talk about hating wrestlers and wanting them out of wrestling, most notably Bobby Heenan and Hulk Hogan. But Heenan was more jealous than hateful; he either wanted the WWF title or was determined to keep the AWA belt on Nick Bockwinkel, depending on when the promo was given. For Corny, the belts are an important but relatively small part of the equation; he wants Rock 'n' Roll out of SMW and out of his life simply because he hates their stinkin' guts with a purple passion. He wants to maim and destroy them because they've made his life unbearable for eight years, plain and simple.

 

I loved that he was able to rattle off the towns and stipulations so correctly and so quickly. I'll bet it took more than one take, but whichever take we saw was done perfectly. I wish that Dr. Tom had said a few words just because, but this promo was so good it didn't need anything else.

 

I didn't notice that Corny was bleeding, but he was so mad that it wouldn't surprise me if he was. Either that or he got excited and smashed himself in the nose without knowing it.

 

Corny also did an excellent, if brief, job of hyping the upcoming six-man. He was glorious, complaining about Rock 'n' Roll trying to take him out prior to Thanksgiving Thunder on one hand and threatening to do the same to them on the other. I didn't know that Bullet Bob was scheduled to wrestle instead of Ronnie, but I'm kind of glad that it didn't happen that way; that feud needs its own space to grow, and it'll get it soon enough.

 

I've never heard a manager admit that he's a handicap to his team in the ring before. Usually they go the "How dare you try to put your hands on me!" route, which Corny does here, but only secondarily. I must say that I'm touched that he doesn't; want the Bodies to worry about him while they're supposed to be wrestling. Jim Cornette, you are truly one of nature's noble men.