"I was gonna be Encino Man, bro."
If there were ever such a thing as Jobber PTSD, you've nailed it.
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Posted 15 September 2016 - 12:00 AM
"I was gonna be Encino Man, bro."
If there were ever such a thing as Jobber PTSD, you've nailed it.
Posted 15 September 2016 - 07:36 AM
Notes: Hello hello. Thanks for your kind feedback! I have a busy weekend coming up and have the card finished, so I'm posting it a day early just to make sure I get to it.
MIDWEST TERRITORIAL WRESTLING #1 - 9/16/1995 - McMorran Place - Port Huron, MI
Welcome to McMorran Place, in Port Huron, Michigan! Welcome to the Midwest Territorial Wrestling Heavyweight Championship tournament! Tonight features 8 men in a single elimination tournament for the MTW Heavyweight Championship Title, in addition, there will be three feature bouts of professional wrestling action!
Johnny Swinger vs Glen Osbourne
Swinger, in plain long tights, takes on Osbourne (no facepaint) in a warm-up-the-crowd match with some comedy spots. Osbourne has a size advantage, and that takes a toll on the more agile Swinger. As the massive 410 person crowd settles into McMorran Place, Osbourne finishes Swinger off with a big powerslam and the 1-2-3.
Glenn Osbourne d. Johnny Swinger (7:05, pinfall)
Ladies and Gentleman, the following contest is a first round match in the MTW Heavyweight Championship Tournament.
Barry Darsow vs. Duke Droese (1st Round Tournament Match)
Droese is wearing a Andre the Giant style singlet (no garbage man outfit) and Darsow is in a (non-Russian) version of his Krusher Kruschev gear. Droese takes the early advantage but Darsow is a wily vet and can handle the punishment. He fights his way back and gets the victory with the Russian Sickle lariat.
Barry Darsow d. Duke Droese (7:10, pinfall)
Virgil is making his way out for his first round match as Darsow is leaving. Virgil mocks Darsow, calling him a crybaby, yelling that he doesn’t care about his fat kid and ugly wife. Darsow doesn’t bite but does tell him he’ll see him next round if he’s lucky. Ottman enters and is a jovial smiling babyface, trying to fire up the crowd with his Tugboat toots. He’s wearing a Typhoon style singlet except it says “FRED” instead of “TYPHOON”, presumably because of the many letters Jerry McDevitt has sent the office lately.
Virgil vs. Fred Ottman (1st Round Tournament Match)
Two of the favorites for the tournament square off early and don’t get confused folks, this is MTW action, not a highly rated episode of WWF Superstars! Two pros going back and forth in a solid match that sees Virgil try to out-speed and hustle the big man, and Ottman using his girth to his advantage when possible. Virgil starts trying to work over Ottman with his boxing background and gets the big man rocking. Ottman makes a comeback, but misses a big splash in the corner, which gives Virgil the opportunity to land a huge knockout punch to the jaw and get the victory.
Virgil d. Fred Ottman (8:43, pinfall)
Virgil taunts a fallen Ottman mercilessly, and Ottman, groggy, doesn’t fight back.
Greg Valentine vs. D-Lo Brown (1st Round Tournament Match)
It’s the grizzled vet Valentine versus the up and comer D-Lo Brown. Brown is on top early, but as we all know, it takes a bit for Valentine to get the motor warmed up. Valentine eventually takes over and lays a beating on Brown, who is game and doesn’t check out quite yet. The match wears on and Brown makes a spirited fight of it, but the vet is able to pull it out when he locks in the figure four and Brown, after a struggle, can’t make the ropes and is forced to submit.
Greg Valentine d. D-Lo Brown (14:23, submission)
Brown limps to his feet and offers his hand to Valentine. Valentine looks at it, but walks away. Brown is confused and disappointed by the “gesture”.
Tom Brandi vs. Roadblock (1st Round Tournament Match)
Tom Brandi enters the ring to theme music - the only person of the night with it - as the strains of “Eye of the Tiger” feel the arena. He’s wearing a towel over his head and accompanied by Jim Steel and Jim Powers as cornermen. After an extensive warm-up routine, the bell rings.
Roadblock charges, crushes him with a splash, whips him into the ropes, and devastates Brandi with a Bossman-Slam. 1-2-3.
Roadblock d. Tom Brandi (00:22, pinfall)
Powers and Steel confer with each other, shrug, and roll Brandi to the outside, and remain in the ring since it’s time for their bout with the Beverly Brothers. The Beverly’s enter the ring in their old WWF gear, though it’s looking a bit worn out. A fan asks them for an autograph and Blake demands $1 in exchange.
Beverly Brothers vs. Jim Powers & Jim Steel
A formulaic tag team contest with Powers & Steel trying to play babyface even though the crowd isn’t buying it after their appearance with Brandi. The Beverly Brothers may be down on their luck financially but look solvent in the ring, as they control most of the bout. Powers makes a hot tag to Steel who goes wild on both, but gets distracted by some cheers in the crowd. As he launches into a posing routine, the Beverly’s take out Powers and then take down Steel with the Shaker Heights Spike.
The Beverly Brothers d. Jim Powers & Jim Steel (8:00, pinfall)
Fans are given an intermission as we are about 1 hour into the live card. Many of the superstars of wrestling have their merchandise tables up and autographs available.
**END OF INTERMISSION**
Barry Darsow vs Virgil (Tournament Semi-Finals)
The first semi-final match kicks off with Darsow and Virgil meeting. Immediately they start slugging it out, tempers still high after their exchange of words earlier. They trade the advantage back and forth with Virgil looking for the KO and Darsow swinging and missing with attempts at the lariat. Finally, Darsow is able to duck a punch, and catches Virgil with the Sickle when he turns around. Darsow takes the pin!
Barry Darsow d. Virgil (12:30, pinfall)
But Virgil isn’t satisfied with that at all! He is shaking his head. Darsow climbs a turnbuckle to celebrate but when he dismounts, Virgil unloads with a roundhouse! Darsow is down and he might be bleeding. Virgil yells at Darsow, and the crowd, as the small security detail tells him to leave. Darsow is up and staggers to the back.
Greg Valentine vs Roadblock (Tournament Semi-Finals)
Roadblock has a much harder time this round. He tries to steamroll Valentine early like he did Brandi, but the Hammer is just too experienced for that. He stalls and executes some hit and run attacks on Roadblock until the big man is a bit winded, then the Hammer goes to work, methodically working over the leg, chopping Roadblock down. The figure four seals it after Valentine counters a last-ditch Roadblock flurry.
Greg Valentine d. Roadblock (8:45, submission)
Our final “feature” of the night is next
The Gambler vs Chris Michaels
In a match designed to give the crowd one more chance at the concession stand and the title match competitors a rest, The Gambler breaks out his full arsenal of card tricks before the match. Finally Michaels has had enough and goes to work on Gambler. They have a by-the-numbers time killing match until Gambler hits him with Snake Eyes and gets the pin.
The Gambler d. Chris Michaels (9:00, pinfall)
MTW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FINAL
Greg “The Hammer” Valentine vs. Barry Darsow
Darsow is looking a bit beat up after two hard fought matches and the suckerpunch from Virgil. Valentine looks haggard, but he’s Greg Valentine.
Two men with a lot riding on this go to war, oblivious to the “small time” surroundings and crowd. Valentine immediately targets the jaw, laying in forearms and trying to finish the job Virgil did. Eventually he starts to reorient his attack to the legs to setup the figure four. Darsow fights off Valentine repeatedly, and shows a ton of heart in the process. Darsow is opened up and things aren’t looking good! But out of nowhere, Darsow connects with The Sickle! But he’s down too! Darsow can’t make the cover in time and Valentine is out at 2. Darsow struggles to his feet and tries again, Valentine ducks! Valentine goes for a suplex but Darsow blocks it, grabs the leg, and he’s going for the single leg crab he used as Repo Man! Valentine kicks Darsow off, Darsow into the ropes and back at Valentine, Valentine catches him with a spinebuster, and he holds the leg - figure four! Darsow is bleeding, he’s trying for the ropes, but he can’t make it!
Greg Valentine d. Barry Darsow (17:32, submission)
The winner … and first MTW Heavyweight Champion .. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine!!
Ring announcer thanks everyone for their attendance, and announces the next MTW Event … October 14th in Jackson, Michigan!
Posted 15 September 2016 - 09:04 AM
Lovely job. I think the right guys won without it being too predictable, and you have set stuff up nicely for the future.
Posted 15 September 2016 - 11:30 AM
Holy shit that Tom Brandi vs Roadblock match was genius!
Posted 16 September 2016 - 02:25 PM
Holy shit that Tom Brandi vs Roadblock match was genius!
That might be my favorite bit in any of the territories so far
Posted 20 September 2016 - 12:52 PM
HIGH STAKES WRESTLING RETURNS TO JACKSON
Rose City Motors owner North Clark, in association with the Jackson County Harness Raceway and Fairgrounds, announced today that professional wrestling will return to the fairgrounds this October. The last pro wrestling event at the Fairgrounds was in 1991, when the World Wrestling Federation came to the county fair.
"We're excited to bring you the best deal in pro wrestling today, the Midwest Territorial Wrestling group, right here, to Jackson." said North.
"And if you've got the money for a ticket, we can get you in a car today, only at Rose City Motors!"
The Rose City Classic Tag Team Tournament will feature 8 teams from the pro graps ranks, battling it out for a cash prize and to be crowned MTW Tag Team Champions.
"Rose City Motors is putting up $8,000 for the winner of the tournament - and here's the kicker - that pot doubles if we fill the bracket. Each team has to stake a $1,000 entry fee for the event. Winner take all, and the belts." said Clark.
In an exciting development for gamblers, harness racing will precede and follow the bouts, which will take place in the infield at the Harness Raceway - rain, snow, or shine. Bell time is set for 5PM, Saturday October 14th.
MTW also announced a new wrestling program that will air weekends throughout Michigan and other midwest markets.
"We're going to film in the WILX TV 10 studios in Lansing. The first program will air October 7th, one week before the tag team event on the 14th. We've embedded our reporters with our wrestlers and they're being instructed to capture on video, as much as possible, the formation of the teams that enter this tournament. That first episode will tell those stories. Starting on the 21st we'll be airing first run feature bouts and features with our great roster."
Posted 20 September 2016 - 07:19 PM
October 7th is my birthday. That'll be a nice present for me.
Posted 22 September 2016 - 11:43 AM
Can Steve Doll & Rex King enter the tournament or The Headhunters or is this tournament only for the great names of the Midwest?
Posted 22 September 2016 - 01:14 PM
If they can come up with the entry fee, we might be able to work something out
Posted 05 October 2016 - 10:11 AM
**Airing on local TV stations this week**
The opening Stevie Wonder sample from "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio plays in the background as we see black and white shots of Greg Valentine, Barry Darsow, Virgil, and Beverly Brothers training
Music lowers as a Barry Darsow talking head is shown - "This might be it. We've wiped out our savings lately."
Greg Valentine - "I never wanted to see him again. Ever."
Virgil - "This place is terrible."
Voiceover, as camera pans through downtown Jackson, MI - "8 Teams. 16 Men. One shot at $16,000 dollars, and new life for their career. See how they get their. This Saturday. Road to Rose City. Check Your Local Listings"
Posted 07 October 2016 - 08:24 AM
ROAD TO ROSE CITY
(A deep voiced narrator speaks over footage of the MTW Tournament and Jackson, MI)
After a grueling one night tournament to crown a singles champion, a new opportunity arises for competitors in the Midwest Territorial Wrestling. The Rose City Tournament, sponsored by Rose City Motors, offers a $16,000 prize to the winners of a one night tag team tournament. The only catch? Each team must put up $1,000 of their own money to fill the pot. 16 Men. 8 Teams. 1 Night, 1 Prize. Our cameras have been embedded with the men of MTW as they form their teams. This is their story. Welcome to MTW - Road to Rose City.
(We see MTW Champion Greg Valentine training in a local gym)
Valentine: I’m a singles guy. I’ve had success in the tag teams, but I’m looking to make it back to the top as a singles guy. That’s the comeback story. But $16,000 is tough to look away from. No, I haven’t thought about a partner. The pickings here are slim.
(We follow Valentine through a bit of his workout and home to his rented apartment. He is eating a simple dinner when the phone rings)
Honky Tonk Man (via phone): GREGGY BABY HOW YOU BEEN?
(Honky and a reticent Greg discuss the recent tournament and the upcoming tag team opportunity. Honky Tonk Man reveals his obvious desire - to team with Valentine in the event. Valentine rebuffs him and hangs up the phone)
Valentine: Honestly, I never wanted to see him again. I don’t want nothing to do with him. That period is over. It happened and there’s nothing I can do about it, but it’s over.
(We see Barry Darsow taking care of the family)
Narrator: Barry Darsow wants to make a name for himself in wrestling one more time - as Barry Darsow. After his hard fought loss to Greg Valentine at the MTW Heavyweight Title Tournament last month, Darsow is eager to get back in the ring. But he needs the right partner.
Darsow: Honestly, things have been pretty tight around here. The printing business is hit or miss. With my focus on training, I haven’t had a lot of time to dig up new clients. Putting up the money … it’s doable. But I gotta find the right guy.
(We see Darsow watching tape, as he breaks down competitors. He seems interested in D-Lo Brown)
(Inside a dilapidated gym, The Beverly Brothers are working out as best they can)
Narrator: The down on their luck Beverly Brothers, despite a victory last month, still struggle to make ends meet after a downturn in their economic fortunes.
(Beau and Blake are finishing some power cleans as a gym attendant arrives)
Attendant: I’m sorry, sirs, but you’re going to have to leave.
The Beverly’s are incredulous
Attendant: It’s just, you’ve been working out here a week, and we’ve been very understanding, but your membership fee still hasn’t come through. I think we’ve been very understanding.
Dejected, the Beverly’s gather their bags and head out the door, deciding to avoid a physical confrontation. As they exit, The Gambler, in his hat and suit, is there to meet them
The Gambler: I tell ya, ya look like you’ve hit a mighty cold run at the table.
Beau: I .. that’s not really you’re business.
The Gambler: Now now no need to get angry … I know you’re good for it … what’s your plans for the tournament?
Blake: We’ve got this. We’re gonna win, we’re gonna turn this whole ship around. You can count on that.
The Gambler: Well that’s a mighty fine plan you’ve got … I guess I’ll be on my way … but if you need a bit .. how you call it .. of a stake … just call this.
The Gambler hands Blake a piece of paper and saunters away. The Beverly’s exchange glances.
Virgil is eating dinner in a Jackson area restaurant.
Child: Mr. Virgil! I was at SummerSlam when you beat Million Dollar Man!
Virgil: That’s great. Really.
Child: Can I have an autograph?
Virgil: For real? I’m eating dinner here. Where are your parents? Why they letting you wander around the restaurant like this?
Narrator: After a disappointing showing in the heavyweight tournament, Virgil is looking to make waves in the tag team event. Finding a partner, however, has proven more difficult.
Virgil: Look you’ve got these cats who can’t hang with me. Then you’ve got idiots who don’t want to team with me for whatever reason. But I’ve got someone. I got a number. Young dude. D-Lo. Gonna mentor him. It’s in the bag.
Glenn Osbourne is wandering the outskirts of Lakeland, FL.
Narrator: Fred Ottman hasn’t been since his defeat last month. Glenn Osbourne is on the hunt for him. He’s tracked him to his last known residence, outside Lakeland, FL.
Osbourne finds the house our reporters visited last month - only now, Shockmaster helmets are scattered in the trees, and “DO NOT FORGET” spraypainted on the garage door. Osbourne bangs on the front door.
Glenn Osbourne: FRED! I KNOW THIS YOUR HOUSE!
Osbourne: OPEN UP MAN! I KNOW YOU ARE HERE!
Osbourne: Listen. I’m not here to judge. I’m here to share. I’ve got a secret too, Fred…
The door cracks open
Jim Steel and Jim Powers are crushing biceps in the gym
Steel: Brah, you hear about this tournament?
Powers: Dude, you know it. YOU KNOW IT. Are you in?
Steel: Bro totally. You know I almost won the WCW tag team straps once? Me and Z-Man. Had a match against the Steiners down Tuscaloosa way. Had them down for the count but Zenk couldn’t close the deal. Got too close. We never got a shot again.
Powers: Bro I know the feeling. Me and Roma. We were gonna be SOMETHING man. But Gorilla hated us. Always talking us down. We almost won that Survivor Series match! Roma got all into the boxing and the talking though. Ditched me for Slick. Idiot.
Steel: Bro you got $750 though? I can cover $250 but I got some money in other accounts. I got a checking and a savings. But I gotta switch it over. Takes a few days.
Powers: Ah, bro, yeah, no worry. I’ll double charge one of these personal training sessions. We got this bro!
Roadblock and Duke Droese are in a bar - they bond over stories of their garbage and construction jobs. They reach an agreement - the blue collar men will compete in the tournament together.
The Honky Tonk Man, in his distinctive Pink Cadillac, pulls up to a diner
Honky Tonk: Honey honey honeys, settle down, I know ya’ll excited but the Honky Tonk Man is here for one reason, one reason only, ya’ll gotta know where my big bad buddy Greg Valentine been hanging out lately? I hear he’s been up down and around this town and I know he hunka hunka loves his hunka pancake in the morning baby!
Confused diners stare, and go back to eating, as Honky Tonk continues to prod individual patrons. Finally, a shy waitress mentions that she saw him recently - and gives Honky some approximate directions to where he might be staying.
We follow Honky as he stakes out the apartment complex. Clever as always, Honky has concealed his vehicle out of sight of the main entrance. He sees a truck, with Valentine at the wheel, pull in. Honky waits for Greg to exit, peels the Cadillac up next to the truck, and sprints to catch Greg as he enters the building. Greg tries to get in before Honky can reach him, but he fails.
HTM: Baby baby! How you been Hammer baby? How’s life? How’s the training? That’s a nice belt I saw you got there!
Greg: I’ve got nothing to say to you.
HTM: Listen brother, I know that things didn’t end well between us. But that was a long time ago baby! Almost 5 years! You know it wasn’t as bad as you say it was, my man. We had the Rhythm, we had the Blues, we left’em black and blue baby! Sky’s the limit!
Greg: What do you want?
HTM: You know what I want, Hammer. I got the money. You don’t have to put up nothing. You know none of these other guys can hold a candle to the greatest Intercontinental champion of all time! We’re the two greatest Intercontinental champions of all time! We’re the best! This is gonna be a cakewalk for us, baby!
Valentine is skeptical. But he seems open to the idea. Especially if Honky is paying. They shake hands. It appears we have a team.
Greg: But we have rules - no Jimmy. No dyed hair. No jackets. This is business.
HTM: Well hey hey that’s alright with the Honky Tonk Man, all business baby!
D-Lo Brown is working out in his Chicago neighborhood gym.
D-Lo: Yeah, I’ve gotten calls from a few guys. Darsow seems cool. Virgil has a great pedigree, really. I’m in a good spot for a young guy.
Virgil busts through the door to the gym
Virgil: D-Lo my man. I’m here. Let’s get to work.
D-Lo protests - he hasn’t officially accepted anything from Virgil yet. Virgil continues to press the issue. In fact, he’s got that F-Money, as he calls it, and he’ll front the whole thing for D-Lo. He knows how hard it is to be a man of his means. He wants to help. They’ll win it and Virgil will only take a 75% cut. D-Lo doesn’t seem impressed. Barry Darsow arrives - Virgil is immediately angry. Darsow ignores the Virgil jabs over his appearance and financial situation. Calmly, Darsow lays out his proposal - they’ll split the cost, they’ll be a team. D-Lo, while concerned about the cash, agrees - he’d rather pay his own way than accept Virgil’s offer. Virgil leaves, angry.
Virgil: Camera man, you got that sucker Brandi’s phone number?
The Beverly’s enter the smokey horse track in Jackson, MI … they find The Gambler, carefully arranging his slips, smoking a cigarette, watching the simulcast races on the small overheard TVs.
Beau: We’re interested.
Blake: Not that interested. But interested.
The Gambler: Interest … I love that word.
Beau: So, what’s your offer?
The Gambler: I think you’ve got guts, kids. I think you’ve got talent.
Blake: Of course
The Gambler: I think you don’t have any money.
Beu: None is a stretch …
The Gambler: I think you need money. For the tournament.
Blake: We might be interested in that.
The Gambler: Well, kids, I’ve got money. And I’m not looking to enter the tournament myself. But I am looking to turn that money, into more money. And I’ve always liked having an inside horse in these races.
Beau: Go on …
The Gambler: I’d love to, but I’m going to have to politely ask these camera folk be on their way …
Glenn Osbourne sits with Fred Ottman in a run-down sunken living room. Purple paint and glitter stain the walls.
Glenn: I know it’s been rough, Fred. I know what you’ve gone through. And I know the beast that you keep inside. I see him drifting out. I see him trying to escape.
Ottman: It’s always there
Glenn: I know it’s always there. I know. I keep one inside me. I cage him. I’m here to help you. I’ve seen what he’s done to you. I know you can conquer him. You have to work with me. We have to work together. To keep the animals caged. To keep our lives.
Ottman: I just want to be normal. I just want to live my life. I miss my wife! I miss my kids! I can’t go on like this much longer. It’s going to eat me alive. It’s something you could never understand!
Glenn: I know better than you think I know, Fred. I know.
Osbourne reveals the contents of the backpack he brought - his chain, facepaint, his “Beast” persona.
Glenn: I’m one too. I hold an alter-ego inside my mind. Sometimes he overcomes Glenn Osbourne. But together - as a team - together - we can keep them inside. We can regain what we’ve lost.
Ottman and Osbourne break into laughter and tears, and embrace
We cut to a gym where Chris Michaels and Johnny Swinger both happen to be working out.
Chris: Hey, you want to team?
Swinger: Yeah, sure, why not.
Greg Valentine & Honky Tonk Man
Chris Michaels & Johnny Swinger
Barry Darsow & D-Lo Brown
Virgil & Tom Brandi
The Beverly Brothers
Roadblock & Duke Droese
Fred Ottman & Glenn Osbourne
Jim Powers & Jim Steel
Posted 14 October 2016 - 07:22 PM
MTW ROSE CITY TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT
It’s The Rose City Tag Team Tournament at Jackson Harness Raceway. An unnamed ring announcer welcomes the crowd, informs them that an edited version of the event will be played on local TV WILX 10 on Sunday morning at 10AM. Starting next week, bouts filmed at the television studios will take place Saturday mornings, and then aired on local stations in late, late night local slots (1AM) or early Sunday morning open slots.
North Clark, owner of Rose City Motors, reminds the crowd of his sponsorship of the event and the stakes - each team has put up $1,000 and his company has put up another $8,000. The winner will receive the pot, as well as, surprise!, being crowned MTW Tag Team Champions.
FIRST ROUND of ROSE CITY TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT
Greg Valentine & Honky Tonk Man vs. Chris Michaels & Johnny Swinger
Honky dances a bit during the intros, but Valentine shuts him down with a withering glance. This isn’t much of a contest. Valentine and Honky seem to have recovered some of their earlier chemistry and use their experience to overwhelm the younger team. Honky Tonk, wrestling without the usual buffoonery, is very effective and Valentine shows why he is MTW Champion in a dominating performance.
Valentine & Honky Tonk defeat Michaels & Swinger [Pinfall - 7:05]
Barry Darsow & D-Lo Brown vs. Virgil & Tom Brandi
Virgil looks supremely cocky. Brandi, towel on his head, warms up like a champ. Darsow and Brown discuss their strategy and go on the attack. Throughout the match, both men handle Brandi easily, but have a tougher time when he manages to tag in Virgil. Virgil grows visibly annoyed at Brandi as the match wears on, and eventually Barry Darsow scores the pin on Brandi. Virgil is disgusted.
Darsow & Brown defeat Virgil & Brandi [Pinfall - 12:04]
Virgil takes out his frustration on Tom Brandi after the match, stomping him into the mat and spitting on him before leaving.
The Beverly Brothers vs. Duke Droese & Roadblock
The Beverly’s enter with their back, The Gambler. Droese, carrying a garbage pail, and Roadblock, with a sawhorse, enter. The big men start out with some power and take an early advantage but the Beverly’s are veterans. They quickly seize the opportunity and wear them down before hitting Droese with the Shaker Heights Spike and get out of the first round.
The Beverly Brothers defeat Droese & Roadblock [Pinfall - 08:34]
Greg Valentine and Honky Tonk Man appear on the stage and give an interview to an unnamed suit guy. Greg quickly cuts off a fast talking Honky Tonk Man to deliver his own message - D. Lo Brown is a rookie punk, and Darsow is a failure, jealous that Valentine is living his comeback dream, and Darsow is a money losing loser. D-Lo insulted him, personally, by offering his hand after their match last month. It insinuates they are even close to the same level, which just isn’t true.
Fred Ottman & Glenn Osbourne vs. Jim Powers & Jim Steel
Powers and Steel after overmatched from the beginning. The two big, smiling, happy giants punish them and make quick work of the duo.
Fred Ottman & Glenn Osbourne defeat Powers & Steel [Pinfall - 5:56]
SECOND ROUND of ROSE CITY TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT
Greg Valentine & Honky Tonk Man vs. Barry Darsow & D-Lo Brown
This is a big match. Darsow and Brown, both looking to be a top competitor in the heavyweight division, sense an opportunity to get one over on the champion. Honky Tonk wrestles like a man who maybe couldn’t afford to lose the money he put in. Valentine is determined to win the tournament and prove his worth as champion.
The main story of the match is D-Lo continuing to try and show he is an equal to Valentine. They square off individually twice during the match with each man getting the better of one exchange. As the match goes on, Honky Tonk man begins to get flustered. He is resorting to some of his chicken tactics from the WWF. The end of the match sees D-Lo and Valentine square off again - as Valentine runs into the ropes, he knocks heads with Honky Tonk Man, who has his backed turned to the action, dancing for the crowd. D-Lo takes advantage as Valentine staggers around, hitting him with a Lo Down and getting the pin!
Barry Darsow & D-Lo Brown defeat Greg Valentine & Honky Tonk Man [Pinfall - 13:08]
D-Lo again offers his hand to Valentine, who knocks it away and turns immediately to the dressing room, shaking off Honky Tonk Man as well.
The Beverly Brothers vs. Fred Ottman & Glenn Osbourne
Ottman and Osbourne, like the Roadblock/Droese team in the first round, have a big size advantage. The Beverly’s use their underhanded tactics and veteran know-how to neutralize the big men. Ottman gets a hot tag, though, and stampedes through them. But as he goes to hit the corner splash, The Gambler clocks him from behind! Ottman is stunned, and that gives the Beau Blake the chance to knock Ottman down with a big forearm and score the pinfall. Beau, Blake, and The Gambler taunt the big men as they leave the ring area.
The Beverly Brothers defeat Fred Ottman & Glenn Osbourne [Pinfall - 8:41]
The matches for the first episode of the MTW Saturday Show are announced:
Virgil vs. Tom Brandi
D-Lo Brown vs. Johnny Swinger
Fred Ottman & Glen Osbourne vs. Roadblock & Duke Droese
ROSE CITY TOURNAMENT FINALS
The Beverly Brothers vs. Barry Darsow & D-Lo Brown
Darsow & Brown have gone through two longer matches than the Beverly’s and show the effects. This allows the Beverly’s to stay on top for most of the match, but they just can’t put Darsow & Brown down. The longer it goes the more it seems the Beverly’s have missed their chance. The Gambler becomes involved towards the end - but D-Lo cold clocks him on the apron! It’s a brawl in the ring now with The Gambler on the floor goading Brown - the official is trying to contain everything - but here’s Virgil! He’s angry! He waffles D-Lo with a huge sucker punch while the official is yelling at The Gambler. Barry Darsow gives chase - instead of possibly breaking up the pinfall - and Brown is out! 1-2-3!
The Beverly Brothers defeat Barry Darsow & D-Lo Brown [Pinfall - 16:13]
The Beverly Brothers, The Gambler, and Virgil celebrate in the ring. North Clark enters the ring and presents the winning team with their belts and novelty check for the winnings. Remember, folks, we’ve got horse racing to come here tonight, collect your winnings from your buddy now and get down to the betting windows!
Brown and Darsow regroup on the outside, and are angry. They charge the ring and the group scatters. The Gambler gets caught in the ring and Darsow knocks him in the head with the oversized novelty check. Brown chases the auto dealer out of the ring and the show ends with Darsow and Brown in the ring as The Gambler, Beverly’s and Virgil head to the locker room, defiant but wounded.
RACE RESULTS WINNERS ONLY
In A More Perfect World
Zukey Lake Express
Nevermind the Ballast
Posted 15 October 2016 - 03:31 PM
Have you seen the insane series of stories people told about Virgil on Deadspin? Looks like you might be underplaying the insanity
Absolutely! The Virgil legends of the internet are a direct inspiration. Plus I always thought Virgil was a bit underrated.
Posted 16 October 2016 - 10:26 PM
I absolutely love Virgil, The Gambler, and the former Destruction Crew as your top heels.
Actually surprised Roadblock & Droese weren't a WCW Worldwide team at some point in like, 1998 or something.
Looking forward to Ottman eventually going nuts.
Posted 17 October 2016 - 11:09 AM
I would have totally put money on Nevermind the Ballast. That's a winning name right there.
Posted 21 October 2016 - 05:03 AM
MTW Saturday Night Slam - 10/21/1995 - Ep. 1
Gary Woronchak, a goofy looking man and the propierator of MTW (as well as a future Wayne County Commissioner) is our host, for lack of a better option. He welcomes us to the inaugural episode of MTW Saturday Night Slam, filmed at the studios of WILX TV 10 in Lansing, MI. He awkwardly runs down the first card of this spectacular new show:
Virgil vs. Tom Brandi
Roadblock & Duke Droese vs. Fred Ottman & Glen Osbourne
D-Lo Brown vs. Johnny Swinger
A Look at The Gambler & Beverly Brothers
… and a special in-studio appearance from MTW Champion Greg Valentine.
It’s going to be a corker!
Roadblock & Duke Droese vs. Fred Ottman & Glen Osbourne
You better hope the ring is reinforced for this clash of big men. Droese seems less than enthusiastic to be toting his garbage pail during the entrance but fully committed to getting a victory. These behemoths have a fast-paced, high-flying (just kidding) slugfest that sets the tape trading world on absolute fire before Ottman crushes Droese into the corner with a running big splash and gets the pin.
Ottman & Osbourne defeat Roadblock & Droese [Pinfall - 7:00]
The victors head over to the announce desk for an interview.
“Man, that was some fight! Those big hosses are a load. But we prevailed, for us and for the fans, that’s all that matters. Best of look to those big boys in the future!”
“That’s right Fred. I want to say hello to my friends and family out there this evening, I’m glad you got a chance to see us win!”
“I want to … I want to do that as well … to Suzy and the kids .. big Fred, he’s making it right! He’s doing it the right way! I love you.”
“Yes, let’s touch on that - we’ve seen that you and your partner both seem to be struggling a bit to contain, what you call it, the Beasts, inside?”
“Gary, that’s an inappropriate question to ask someone dealing with these issues! What we’ve gone through, the things we ARE going through, those aren’t issues just to throw out …”
“No no, Glen, it’s alright. It’s alright. You’re right Gary. And the fans in MTW, they deserve to know it. We’ve both had our struggles to contain the more, sinister, more, exciting parts of our personalities. And that’s … it’s cost me. It’s cost me some things. And some … some people in my life. That just … they aren’t …”
[Ottman, suddenly a bit overcome, turns from the camera. Osbourne pats him on the back and they head to the locker room]
Cut to the locker room areas for promos with one our main event match competitors -
Tom Brandi (in his robe, doing light calisthenics)
“Virgil, Soul Train Jones, whatever you want to call yourself, tonight you meet your maker. You let me down in the tournament with your performance, and now, the ultimate wrestler, Tom Brandi, will show you who is REALLY in charge around here.”
Ladies and gentleman now we have a special treat - our cameras were embedded with the new MTW Tag Team Champions and their backer, The Gambler, as they celebrated their victory in the inaugural Rose City Tag Team Tournament.
[“The Boys are Back in Town” plays as we see The Gambler & The Beverly Brothers riding around Mid-Michigan in a family sedan rental car. An unnamed chauffeur is handling the driving while The Gambler rides shotgun. They are buying Red Dog Beer, spraying each other in the car, and going through rolls of scratch off tickets. There is a montage of The Gambler having them try on new ring outfits - they decide on long black tights with playing cards and silver capes. The music fades as we join the three men in a garish lounge, presumably owned by The Gambler]
“You know, we just wanted to give you all out there a taste, just a glimpse, of the life of luxury that these men lead now, now that they’ve joined THE SYNDICATE, with myself, The Gambler, the leader of men, the roller of the die of life, the winning hand. You’ve got me, the supreme mind of this generation, you’ve got Beau and Blake, the two men who make sure nobody messes with the vig, and you’ve got, unfortunately not with us tonight because he’s getting ready for his match with that loser Tom Brandi, you’ve got Virgil! The ultimate fighter!”
Beau jumps in
“That’s right! The Gambler is taking us STRAIGHT to the top of the wrestling world! Burn all the tapes you’ve seen, toss those garbage rags in the trash, the BEVERLY BROTHERS are back in action at the top of the heap, baby”
Blake pops some champagne
“Times have been tough, we all go through them. We all struggle. But not us. Not anymore. The Beverly Brothers got the shot they needed to grab those bootstraps and pull themselves back up into the high class life we deserve - and you better believe that we aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. We’re the champs, we’re rich, and we’re gonna stay that way!”
Beau is back
“How about those fat slobs? I hear they had a match tonight. Fred? And Glen? Are they gonna get me a burger after that? Can you believe these losers? Fred and his helmets. Arts and craft time is over, fat boy!”
“Oh man, but what about the other ones? What about Roadblock and Droese? Ohhh I’m a blue collar man. Listen, bubs, you can be blue collar. I tried it once. Did some construction work back in the day. And I tell you - it’s not a life. It’s an existence. Don’t celebrate it. Ohhh but I work hard. Yeah, because you’re a sucker. Suckers work hard. Winners get it done the easy way.”
“But then, at the end, you’ve got the two biggest suckers of them all. Brown and Darsow. Sound like a two bit detective agency. You can huff and puff and blow our trophy down, but at the end of it all, you walked away with jack! We got the money, we got the glamour. You got a nice round of applause, but what else? Maybe a discount at the Clinique store on your next face makeup purchase Barry? Pathetic”
The Gambler motions the camera back
“Now let this be a warning. Everyone in wrestling, everyone in MTW, this is the ante. Time to call or fold. Time to make your bets. We’ve got the tag team titles. Valentine … you’ve got a choice. You can get with the Syndicate, or you can get rocked by Virgil. We’re gonna have all the gold. We’re gonna have all the money. We’re gonna have all the babes! STRAIGHT TO THE TOP!”
We cut to Virgil, in the locker room, for another look at the main event
Virgil (hitting the heavy bag)
BRANDI, you sucker. I got that money. I got the fame. Tonight you gonna remember my name. And you best believe that I don’t even NEED my new buddy Gambler and his boys with me. They out partying, I’m right here, getting that WIN
Well, that was certainly something! Back to the ring…
D-Lo Brown vs. Johnny Swinger
Basically a squash here, with D-Lo taking most of the offense and finishing Swinger with a Lo-Down quickly. He’s got a lot on his mind and we’re about to hear it.
D-Lo Brown defeats Johnny Swinger [Pinfall - 5:04]
D-Lo heads to the announce desk for his post-match comments.
“Let’s cut RIGHT to the chase here. Greg Valentine, I’m talking to you man. I’m talking to you, man to man, on this one. Right now. I took you to the edge in the title tournament. I was right there. You know it, I know it, MTW knows it. I pushed you up to all you could take, and all I asked - THE ONLY THING I ASKED - was that you shake my hand, like a man, like a fellow competitor. You’re a vet, you’ve been around, you should have AT LEAST that much respect for someone you went to war against. And you SHUT ME OUT, you walked out, and I said, ok D-Lo, ok, just calm down, he’s got his mind focused, he ain’t gonna just play you like that.
And then what happens? What happens Hammer? I tell you what happens - you show up to Rose City, me and Darsow show up to Rose City, we go toe to toe, we butt heads, and I pinned you man! I took you down! I got the 1-2-3 on the champ, fair and square, center of the ring, I’m the winner, you take the L - and what happens man? WHAT HAPPENS? I ask you for a handshake, I ask for a handshake from a man I used to watch on the WWF Superstars, a guy I RESPECT, and what do I get? What happens? MAN I GET SHUT OUT AGAIN. And I KNOW that you are here, right here tonight, and I’m asking you Hammer, Champ, Greg Valentine - to come out here, admit I pinned you, and SHAKE MY HAND”
After some tense moments, The Hammer, in a suit, with his title belt, comes out the announce desk
“That’s some nice talkin’, son. But let me explain to you - this sport, it ain’t about respect. I don’t give a damn about who you watched on TV or what YOU THINK you deserve. You lost, one on one. You beat me in a tag match, while I’m chained to a damned Honky Tonky grand piano. I don’t shake hands with someone I don’t respect. I don’t respect people I got to beat. And you got a pin on me, so I have to beat you. You want respect from me? I’ve been in this sport longer than you’ve been alive, kid. One night don’t mean NOTHING to me. I beat you one on one. I’ll do it again. And I’m going to.”
Hammer throws down the mic, and walks out.
Before the final ad break, we see Virgil and Tom Brandi both warming up in the backstage area. Brandi, forever the believer, is in his warmup gear, full robe, ready to go. Virgil is pounding a brick wall with his bare fists.
Virgil vs. Tom Brandi
Virgil mercilessly pummels the somehow still cocky Brandi. Brandi is opened up from some vicious jabs and Virgil is enjoying the devastation. He locks in the Million Dollar Dream and Mr. Brandi takes a nice nap in the ring.
Virgil defeats Tom Brandi [Pinfall - 6:12]
Virgil hits the announce desk, fired up from his victory -
BARRY DARSOW, GREG VALENTINE, D-LO BROWN, everyone in this sorry promotion - you better listen up, you better take notice - I’m unstoppable, I’m the greatest, I’m the money, I’m the man! I got it all! And I’m coming for all ya’ll!!!
See you next week - we’ll have Barry Darsow, the Beverly Brothers, and more in action!
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