Welcome to the THUNDER FIRE BOMB REVIEW #13
Revolution Pro Wrestling "The Start of Something Big" (9/11/95)
(by Phil Dean)
This is the new Ian Rotten promotion after he left ECW. The drugs are easily flowing in LA, so it makes sense he would go there to start a garbage promotion there. There seems to be some deal with FMW in place, as this takes place a few days before their tour and the American guys are all over this.
Fidel Sierra vs. Flash Flanagan
How do you start a new sleaze garbage promotion? You have a Southern sleaze vs Puerto Rican sleaze match! This was mastery sleeze as these do stalled, cheated, and hit each other really hard. Fidel played more of the heel, but Flash was not full on face (how could he be?). This match could had been in Memphis or WWC in the 80s and fit perfectly! Ron Rivera is the commentator and for this match James Mitchell (the former Daryl Van Horne from SMW) is the colour man. Mitchell raves about the women and drugs in LA being so much better than Smoky Mountain. Rivera is a very excitable announcer. The match ends when Sierra misses a lariat and Flash nails a Frankensteiner for the victory.
JT Smith vs. Balls Mahoney
Balls is Boo Radley from SMW fame, but now is billed as Balls from Nutley, New Jersey. A silly gimmick, but you have to get this tape to listen to James Mitchell's insane commentator about Balls. The match is crazy. They punch each other a lot. JT Smith missed a suicide dive which seemed to knock him out. Balls drug him into the ring and hit a Ball Breaker (sitout spinebuster) for the win. JT Smith may or may not be dead.
The Southern Rockers (Steve Doll & Rex King) vs. Pat Tanaka & Ricky Santana
This is the old southern style tag with The Rockers working as the heels. By the way, Tanaka & Santana is the southern babyface tag team you never knew you wanted, but you definitely want! Santana played face in peril, Rockers cheated and busted him open with brass knuckles. Tanaka came in as the hot tag. Hit his amazing flying forearm, but the Rockers broke it up. More cheating by the Rockers lead to their cheating win. Looks like this will continue and I can't wait for more. Southern sleazy tags!! Tanaka is still awesome. Santana is a great great babyface and The Rockers are fine as heels.
The Brooklyn Brawler's Open Challenge
Yes, the WWF's worthless Brooklyn Brawler is here to tell you that LA sucks and NYC rules and that he is the greatest brawler in the world! Look at his name, it says it all. He issues and open challenge and then the lights go out.
Brooklyn Brawler vs. Sabu
The lights come on and mother fucking Sabu is in the ring. He tosses a chair at Brawler's head and lays him out with a dropkick. He nails him with more chairs and then sets up a chair outside the ring. Sommersault Plancha kills Brawler through the table. Brawler is bleeding everywhere as he is brought into the ring and Sabu does the Triple Jump Moonsault for the win. A bloody killing by Sabu here and it was perfect! Brawler woozily goes to the back and is still claiming he's the best brawler in the world. Mitchell is hilarious here rooting for Brawler and praising his technique.
Jinsei Shinzaki vs. Louie Spicolli
Two former WWF wrestlers. One has history in Japan and the other in Mexico. This was mighty fine pro-wrestling. Shinzaki hit his cool moves, including the rope walk stuff. Spicolli used power moves like a power bomb and powerslam. Unlike the rest of the show, this was more of a cutting edge match. Lots of heat for this too, as the crazy loved Shinzaki. The finish saw Shinzaki go for a super frankensteiner, but Louie turned it into a super power bomb off the top! Wrestling baby! Louie looks to have a big future as he is young, has a great look, and can really go.
Maxx Payne vs. Horace Boulder (No Rules)
This was two ugly men punching each other in the face and hitting each other with weapons. It was violent, but mostly kept in the ring. Payne took advantage of chairs and a crutch he stole from someone at ringside. This didn't go too long, but was fun for it's style. Payne was able to make Boulder submit to the Fujiwara armbar after repeatingly beating his arm with the crutch.
The State Patrol's Big Surprise
Yes it's The State Patrol. They come out and proceed to give one of the weirdest and most bizarre promos I have ever seen. The story, as they tell it, is that The Big Boss Man called them down to Cobb County Georgia. At that meeting Boss Man explained that nobody was enforcing the rules of wrestling anymore. At that point The State Patrol was debutized and was no more. From now on Lt. James Earl Wright has become Major James Earl Wright and Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker is now Captain Buddy Lee Parker. They are no longer The State Patrol, but now are The Federal Patrol. Here in Revolution Pro Wrestling they will make sure the rules are followed. They are the law and order here. They will now leave for the evening, since the main event is a Street Fight with no rules, there is nothing to enforce. They will be back next month to punish The Southern Rockers for the rules they broke tonight.
Terry Funk/Super Leather/Ian Rotten vs. Jason the Terrible/The Headhunters (Street Fight)
Mitchell left the booth and was in the corner of Jason & The Headunters here. He basically just gave orders and tried not to be killed. He was replaced by Spicolli who did alright. This was exactly what you would expect. Everyone bleed and it went all over the arena. At one point Super Leather dived off the balcony onto The Headhunters. Lots of weapons were used including thumbtacks and a barbed wire baseball bat. Terry Funk was a joy to watch as he and Headhunter B were paired off most of the match. Funk was the star with his comedic wobbly selling, but also just laying into B with great punches. Super Leather came to the ring with his chainsaw and had a stare down with Jason the Terrible. Yes it was Friday the 13th vs. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre live in person. They destroyed each other with weapons all over the place too. The final pairing was Ian Rotten and Headhunter A who used the same crazy weapons, but also did some matwork. Rotten is surprisingly good on the mat, while A is not. There was so much going on through out this match that it was never boring. The camera would take turns on which pair it was showing. The finish saw Terry Funk and Headhunter A both going for moonsaults on their respective opponents at the same time. Funk hit his, while Ian Rotten moved out of the way and then hit A with a fireball for the win. A crazy, bloody, and disgusting match. If you like garbage wrestling you will love this match!
Afterwards Ian Rotten got on the microphone and thanked everyone for showing up. He insulted almost every wrestling promotion, but especially ECW for having shitty hardcore wrestling. Rotten said that Revolution Pro Wrestling is on the cutting edge of hardcore wrestling and to prove it they will be back here in LA on October 13th and he is making a challenge to Sabu for a barbed-wire match. The lights go off and when they come on Sabu has appeared. They have a stare off, but the lights go off again and when they come on Sabu is gone. Sabu vs Ian Rotten is going to rule!