[2000-03-19-WCW-Uncensored] Terry Funk vs Dustin Rhodes

[soup23]

Funk is making me sad man. He comes out here talking about a chicken and has both a literal chicken in his hand and the San Diego Chicken to come out and get the early advantage on dustin. This is straight shit. The sad thing is that a compelling feud could have happened with Dustin taking up his family name with honor but the comedic stuff just ruins it and makes the whole thing seem sad. Dustin is called the American Nightmare which is funny since Cody is using that moniker in Bullet Club currently. The heat here is completely nonexistent and while the actual isn’t really atrocious once they start going, I didn’t think it was particularly inspiring either. Chicken comes out again and that allows Madden to make jokes about it being cocky. Funk changes rules to I Quit match because why not. Ref bump because why not. Funk beats him with the cowbell until Dustin quits. Funk is confused and then gets whacked by Dustin with the cowbell. Dustin beats Funk up more and hits a piledriver for the win. This was shit. DUD

[Loss]

Dustin wasn't at a career peak, and Terry Funk was more a Still Truckin' type than an awesome worker type at this phase, so I wouldn't expect an MOTYC or anything, but I'd expecting some good or at least decent or redeeming -- something. This was embarrassingly bad. Heatless, poorly booked and worked and if they were going for a so-bad-it's-good vibe with the chicken stuff, they didn't even get to that level of camp. I know Dustin was the one who had turned, but it's also worked in such an ambiguous way that you wouldn't know who was in what role. 2000 is not a strong year for Funk (or Dustin), just as it really isn't for any legend working in WCW, but it's been particularly bad for Terry Funk.

[GSR]

Funk comes out with a raw chicked on his fist. He’s got a microphone and says that he sees a chicken in the ring and the only difference between Dustin and his old man is that his old man is much fatter than he is! He then claims to have Dustin’s baby brother here, but it’s not Cody, it’s some dressed in a chicken suit. The ‘chicken’ gets in the ring, hits Dustin and Rhodes chases off after him, only to get nailed in the aisle by Funk’s ‘chicken fist’. Irish whip into the guard rail and he throws Dustin back in the ring. He peppers him with rights before whipping him with the bullrope. DDT for two. Funk with a clothesline, he clobbers Dustin with the cow bell but it makes no sound! Two count as Dustin grabs the ropes. Funk argues the count with Billy Silverman and Dustin with a low blow. He chokes the ‘Funker’ with the bullrope, who then struggles to get himself in position for his ‘rebound’ spot where he’s sat on the middle rope. Dustin hits him with the cowbell as Funk rocks back and forward until he falls to the floor. Rhodes with a pair of two counts, a bulldog on the cowbell but he’s still not able to put Funk away. The guy in the chicken suit is back out and he attacks Dustin until Rhodes slugs him with the cowbell. As this is going on they’re playing some audio of a hen house (presumably over the PA). Christ this is bad! Funk with a low blow using the cowbell and he’s changing the rules of the match from a ‘bullrope match’ to an ‘I Quit’ match. Referee Silverman tries to tell him that he can’t do that and Funk wallops him with the cowbell and throws him out the ring. He continues to hit Dustin in the head trying to get him to ‘quit’. Rhodes eventually does and Funk raises his arm, however the ref puts it back down as the commentators reiterate this ‘is not’ and ‘I Quit’ match. Dustin waffles him with the cowbell, piledriver on the cowbell and this is mercifully over. Oh no, it’s not! They fight some more before Dustin’s finally had enough.

 

Where to begin? This felt like it would never end! Funk with a raw chicken on his fists, liberal interference from a guy dressed in a chicken costume, hen house noises over the PA, Funk trying to change the rules of the match as it was going on, a cowbell that made no noise. Need I go on? If the work between the wrestlers was any good it might’ve redeemed this slightly, but it wasn’t; it was repetitive, pedestrian and Funk looked so old in there. Check out the crowd too. Deafening silence for the majority of this and look how we get more and more empty seats as the match progresses! The worst!

[AstroBoy]

The ever-continuing Funk/Rhodes feud.

 

Funk looks fine as a mean old son of a bitch here early on until Rhodes low blows him. Funk works in his teeter totter rope bump but it's not super fun to watch old Funk get wasted by this cow bell. Dustin doesn't come off too spirited here but he's throwing some nice punches in the corner before bulldogging Funk on the bell.

 

Now some chicken bullshit I have no clue how to react to. Mark Madden is so awful here screaming about killing the chicken. And Funk also turns the table via crotch attack. Thankfully we now move on to Funk cursing repeatedly and nailing Dustin and Billy Silverman with direct cowbell shots. This would be working better if it doesn't come across as total comedy.

 

Any semblance of sanity and match stipulation is just lost at this point in WCW, huh? You would think after such a long career that Funk would know you can't just make the rules and then win by them mid-match. Dustin wins after piledriver on the bell that at least looked nice.

 

*3/4.