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[2009-04-26-WWE-Backlash] John Cena vs Edge (Last Man Standing)


Superstar Sleeze

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World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs Edge - Backlash 2009 Last Man Standing

 

Recap time: so after finishing up a program with Jericho in late 2008, Cena defended the championship against JBL as a part of that weird "Shawn Michaels is poor" storyline. Then equally as weird Edge inserted himself in the RAW Elimination Chamber defeating Cena for the championship. They were really into triple threats at Mania for a while so this once was Cena vs Edge vs Big Show and I remember Vickie Guerrero was involved. Cena wins the championship back at Mania. This is the blowoff. I remember at the time this was a big deal for me because my favorite feud for each wrestler was their 2006 feud I especially liked (and still do) their TLC match. This was billed as sort of a final stand for both men in this rivalry. I thought this was actually some really good myth-making from WWE even though Cena/Edge really was just 2006 they made it feel like it was the rivalry that spanned years and was a total classic. Kudos to them!

 

Honestly, I had trouble focusing on the first half of this so I am going to do this review differently. I will do stream of consciousness while the match is running. Inside look at what goes on in Sleeze's head during a pro wrestling match. Edge is my least favorite of the Magnificent Seven of the 2000s (Cena, Batista, Orton, HBK, HHH, Taker & Edge). It is interesting that he is the wrestler who debuted in the Attitude Era that made it the furthest. Jeff Hardy should have been that guy but personal demons. I don't deny in terms of status on the card Edge was very successful, he just inspires nothing but apathy from me.

 

Edge is being portrayed as very desperate and also as always "the ultimate opportunist", which is such a lame gimmick. John Cena always looked weird with Big Goldy. John Cena looks more like he does now than just a few years earlier. I think he was totally comfortable being the guy now. Those keeping track we are in the AWA-inspired shirt phase of John Cena's career.

 

Jim Ross does a great job reminding us that Edge did a one man Conchairto to Cena at the last RAW. So watch the head shots. Cena seems to measuring the stakes. He is really good at that. Dishing out the level of violence to keep a man down for ten takes a toll on you emotionally. Cena displays this. They start up with a lock up. Cena goes for the bulldog. Edge shoves off. This establishes they know each other. Edge powders and Cena gives chase. Cena leapfrogs Edge when they get back in. Cena has a great leapfrog. Just to use that moment of chaos to get the FU, but Edge wriggles free. Not only Edge knows what Cena is doing, but Cena successfully thwarted Edge's strategy to play cat and mouse. Cena is the first to hit a move and it is a fisherman's suplex. The match changes complexion when Edge counters driving Cena's head into the mat and Cena's selling is appropriate given what we know about his condition. He makes the spot feel bigger. I think was still way too soon to go into heat BUT at least transition was strong and sold appropriately.

 

Edge has been clobbering. Cena battles back with right and Edge cuts off with a spinwheel kick. Edge seems to be selling fatigue a little much. Cena's selling is very good and that was a good time for a hope spot. Outside of the head attack, not much of a hook. Edge hits a flapjack. Edge goes for a sleeper. Cena does a GREAT JOB selling this with arms flaying for the ropes, getting them and then having Edge pry him away. Strong dramatic segment. Cena is doing a great job struggling out of the sleeper. He breaks it but Edge pounces right back into the sleeper. Very logical move for the Last Man Standing. I think this is a good time for me to reiterate a point of late 2000s match is that they lack a sense of fun and entertainment. This has been a logical match thus far and Cena has a given a great performance, but where is Edge's charisma. Where is the energy? What makes me excited?

 

Cena hits a series of shouldertackles, protobomb and then sells. Shaking his head, cough and he is struggling. Edge kicks him in the head. Double leg, Sharsphooter. Thought we could have had an Edge mistake that led to Cena flurry, Cena does make up for it with some good selling. Edge pushes his head against the turnbuckle for additional leverage. Nice spot. So far this has been a traditional heat segment. Just solid. Edge drives Cena off the apron into the announce table. First big bump of the match. That's another thing about this era, not much bumping. Edge does not have a bad working punch. I did not remember that. Edge clearly is going to ram into the steps and he does. This should give Cena an opening. I like missed moves to lead to comebacks. Excited to see what happens here. Edge whips Cena into the stairs and Cena who is the BEST at that bump sends the stairs flying. That is a spot my brother and I always mark out for because he really throws himself into that bump. Cole makes a good point Cena is timing his counts well making sure to take longer and longer to get up. Now Cena whips Edge into the stairs. Meh. Cena tosses him in and then Cena kinda struggle to get the stairs in the ring but they are an awkward shape and the top rope is about ten feet above the floor so no exactly easy. Edge kicks Cena in the head because Cena took way too long so I like Edge making him pay. Edge hits Cena with the stairs The crowd is pretty dead. Edge dropkicked the stairs into Cena which is the most violent spot so far. These long drawn out brawls focused mostly on "toys" are not that entertaining. Cena backdrops Edge out and then in a spot that I absolutely LOVE Cena CHUCKS THE STAIRS from the ring to EDGE! This crowd barely makes a sound! No Holy shit! No This is awesome! Fuck you guys that spot was friggin awesome! I love when people chairs, ladders or stairs to people.

 

We do a slugfest now. You just had stairs thrown at you! They do the cutesy both lay their heads on each other's shoulders as they are standing from exhaustion. We do the double count because they punched each other simultaneously. We got another 15 minutes or so. FU attempt, wriggle free, FU attempt, Back Suplex. Edge does you cant see me and STFU. Edge is tapping. Edge is such a bland wrestler. So far this is a typical match between these two just with some stairs and lots of counting. FU attempt, holds on to the ropes, this creates distance and Edge spears him. God Edge's spear sucks. I hate this. The next move is Cena's Super FU from the top rope. Edge just hit his finish why is Cena hitting the next move. Edge should have made a mistake and then Cena capitalizes. Edge makes it up at nine and he falls down. Cena comes off the top and Edge hugs him on the way down. I think Edge was the biggest inspiration for the Bayley character. Cena is putting on a selling clinic, I will give him that. The way he falls out of the ring is great. He just collapses and tumbling out of the ring.

Here we go some actual highspots. CENA FU'D EDGE INTO THE CROWD. HE WIPES OUT THE "FANS"! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! This crowd sucks! This crowd sucks! This crowd sucks! How did they NOT react to that spot! Frustrating. Edge is back up. We roughly have 8 minutes left. God! What can be left? Edge is trying to run away. Not a horrible idea when you are getting your ass kicked. They make it into the concourse. if this turns into a Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl, Im in! Cena bulldogs Edge from the steps to the equipment area. Big Spot! What was the point of the first 15 minutes? I think Edge hit with a lamp shade and down goes Cena! Down Goes Cena! Cena back up. Edge hits his take on DDT on the steel grate of entrance way. At least this is a spotfest now. It is better than that blasé match they were having before. Edge hits him with a steel chair. Chair shot to Cena's head as Cena lays prone! Edge is incredulous. Big Show comes out and throws John Cena into a spotlight that EXPLODES AND IS ON FIRE! ONITA WOULD BE PROUD! GREAT FINISH!

 

Best finish in Last Man Standing Match history! Of course, the obvious thing is why did Big Show wait so long to do it. He just should have interfered earlier. Lets let that lie because at least the finish was badass. I thought Cena's selling for a given spot or moment was tremendous. His spot to spot selling was well spotty. Other than that the first 20 minutes of this was boring, routine, soulless wrestling (stair throw withstanding). Last ten minutes was a good stunt show. Call it *** for the finish and Cena's selling.

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