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Member Since 02 Jun 2008
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Sheamus vs Mark Henry vs Ryback vs R-Truth vs King Barrett vs Dolph Ziggler (Eliminatio...

20 February 2018 - 08:26 AM

Holy shit, what a debacle. No one of these guys are over one bit. The work mostly sucks, only Barrett works half-ass well with Ziggler. Nothing happens, ever, in term of using the gimmick.... We get R-Truth, again. We get Ryback in airbrush but sadly he doesn't do a RVD spot, he's all about being Kane and being one of the worst monster ever in the cage. Henry is there. For someone with so much hype around this place, I have never seen anything better than "decent", honestly.


The two "events" : at some point, Mark Henry's glass door breaks down so he gets out. No idea if that's a fuck up. Then, Sheamus can't get out of his because it can't open. Looks like a fuck up, but apparently not, as Sheamus either "blocked" or "unlocked" the pod on purpose with his necklace. Either way, awful try at "creative booking".


There's less heat than in the Dungeon of Doom. As Hogan would say "It's not hot !"


It's truly an awful match from start to finish. No MVP, no Arn, only Ryback in the Kane spot, in which he sucked so bad that even R-Truth looked better for the time he was in.


Worst Chamber match ever, following one of the worst Chamber match ever in the same PPV. No wonder they let the gimmick rest for two years after this...

New Day vs Los Matadores vs Lucha Dragons vs Cesaro & Tysaon Kidd vs Prime Time Pla...

20 February 2018 - 05:37 AM

What a clusterfuck on every level. New Day can have the three guys competing. Why ? Torito stays in the Chamber. Why ? The Ascension in on my TV. Why ?


The idea was cool. The execution wasn't. Watching Tyson Kidd is a bittersweet feeling. Cesaro is the Arn of this match. So they start with the Lucha Dragons, and it only will go down from here. Kalisto soon gets stuck over the New Day's pod. They fuck up the countdown because he has to do a spot.


Ascension gets in. What a complete and utter waste of time these guys have been. Match goes awry already. They are not over one bit. 


Los Matadores get in and El Torito gets the best spot of the entire match. Kalisto takes forever to climb to the top of the cage. He has second thoughts. Cesaro signals for him to drop as the entire groupe is awkwardly waiting. Kalisto won't drop. He drops. He could have killed himself. The spot is forgotten immediately. Way idiotic. Later on Torito will do kinda the same, from less high, only to get caught by the Ascension, with an even lesser impact since we just saw a bigger drop a few minutes ago. Anway, this is a complete working clusterfuck at this point when booking clusterfuck makes its ugly way : Ascension eliminates both the Dragons and Matadores. People boo in a negative heat way.


Prime Time Players in. More completely non-over guys. Darren seems competent. Titus looks sloppy. They eliminate the Ascension. We've reached the "Who booked this shit ?" territory now. More negative heat.


New Day come in for the final stretch. They get the match back on track a bit, but Cesaro & Kidd get eliminated. MORE NEGATIVE HEAT. No one gives a fuck about the players and the New Days are only warming up as heels. The final minutes are okay because the New Day make it that way. They win. 


Complete waste of a good idea, waste of the coolest teams, waste of good workers who were over to feed to a bunch of tools who got booed out of the building (Ascension, Prime Time Players). Waste of the gimmick, with a completely stupid and very dangerous bump that was forgotten immediately. This has to be one of the very worst EC match, despite a few good moments. Cesaro was Arn. MVP was... I dunno. Torito ? 

Daniel Bryan vs Big Show vs Wade Barrett vs Santino Morella vs Cody Rhodes vs Great Kha...

18 February 2018 - 06:08 AM

This is an odd one.


Likewise CM Punk and Living Colour, Bryan coming out to the remix of Walkyries makes him stand out so much, whereas Barrett & Rhodes, already looking cookie cutter, have those awful generic, same sounding metal stuff. The WWE really lost the plot with music themes in the 00's.


Apparently, this is all about Big Show (who looks great) vs Bryan. So, Wade starting gets no reaction at all, although his work actually looks solid as all hell. So they have a match with Show, which could be a TV match for all it matters. Solid, looks good, but no heat. To insure even less heat, let's get Cody Rhodes in the mix. He's like a Stromtrooper : he's bland, doesn't do anything memorable and has no chance of winning. You can hear the "boring" chants.


Santino. Wow. No idea why this guy is in this match but he's crazy over. He does a few things then gets beat up. Show vs Wade vs Rhodes keeps on being solidly boring, the crowd soon dies again when Santino isn't involved. Somewhere there's a terrific spot with the two faceless guys suplexing Big Show on the steel, which is an insane spot for Show to take with his weight.


Great Khali. He looks even worse than before. Can't even walk right. Throws three awful Baba chops then Big Show (who's moving like a cat, a big cat but a cat nonetheless) spears him. Out. Well, that was worth the time, really… Shows turns to Brian's pod and the people chant for Santino. Well, this match isn't working. Then there's a really odd spot with Show actually breaking the chain links on top of the pod to get in. Well, Brian was due out in a minute or two, why even bother ? Show dropping himself inside the pod gets a huge pop, but then it opens and Show beats on Bryan a bit. Token "throw guys through the plastic" spot. 


And then the ending stretch actually gets really good, Wade & Rhodes take out the Big Show, Santino rolls Cody into a surprise pin. Wade proceeds to have a very good match with Daniel Bryan until he gets eliminated. Wade isn't over, but his work really was crisp, well timed, good bumps, yeah, he's the Jericho-Arn of the match. Whatever happened with this guy ? 


So, there's no way Santino is winning, right ? Well, the crowd still goes insane, like batshit insane for this comedy guy. Bryan does a hell of a job making them think he's actually got a chance. The excepted ending finally happens, but they have managed to turn a completely heatless match to an absolute frenzy, with the guy who has the less chance of winning ever (if you don't count R-Truth). That has to be considered great work. Post match with Sheamus attacking heel Brian was stupid though. Was he supposed to be a babyface doing shit like this ? Plus he was not over one bit… They really wanted this guy to be something special, which he never was.


Overall, it's hard to really rate as for most of the match it was completely heatless and went nowhere, despite Wade & Show really looking good, then got into a legit great final against all odds. You can argue Show was the MVP as he was the only person of interest during the entire first phase, but in reality Bryan truly was as he made the last segment work great and took the most spectacular bumps too. Khali got the Kane spot and sucked like nobody's business in it. Overall, I'd say very good I guess, but it's the tale of two matches, really.

CM Punk vs Chris Jericho vs Kofi Kingston vs R-Truth vs Dolf Ziggler - Elimination Cham...

17 February 2018 - 05:00 PM

Jericho & Kingston have the sunken chest. Ziggler has already been World champ, which means it meant zilch at this point (pun intended).


CM Punk coming out to Cult of Personnality only makes him stand out so much more in the middle of all these awful generic themes (except for Kingston, which is awful but also "ethnic", you see). Kingston and him have a very good, quite hot first sequence; Kofi not only assume the Rey Jr. role of acrobatic underdog but also bumps his ass off on the gimmick.


Ziggler is next and he's quite the heel at this point. Looks to have potential still. He also, as a show-off I guess, really wants to bump as much as possible on the steel during this match. Good for him.


R-Truth. A rib. Three years in a row. Well, I've gotta say, he makes the most fo the few minutes he get with doing a bit more than his usual stuff and also takes one hard bump on the steel. Still, he's a goner immediately, because he's a joke.


The Miz is next and shows some excellent heelish fire. This guy is underrated including in the ring, despite some of his stuff looking weak (a fucked up lariat in the corner here, which almost gets a "Lance Storm throws a chairshot in ECW in 97" reaction from the post-modern crowd). But still, his stuff against Punk is pretty fucking solid. Thus far, this match overdelivered considering who's in (both in term of standing and work ability, although it speaks volume about how Miz is underrated and how Kingston was actually quite good).


Jericho vs CM Punk is the big story of the match. These two are a clear head and shoulder above everyone else as far as star power goes, Jericho working like Arn-the-veteran. Damn, his use of the pod to hurt CM Punk's shoulder was terrific and unique. After that point though, the match does kinda lose its focus. Ziggler is a goner then Kofi falls victim to Jericho after a great spot off a pod, but there Jericho goes crazy on him for no other reason than to waste time and lose focus so he can be kicked out of the chamber by Punk. Then they run this injury angle which takes kinda forever, with Jericho playing dead outside. It really takes the match down as they typically overplay the drama (you know the drill, Lawler doing his "low speak"stuff) and seemingly no one in the ring does anything, which doesn't make sense. 


The ending stretch of Punk vs Miz gets the intensity back with a terrific last sequence. This would clearly be a top tier EC match if not for the lost space between Jericho injuring Punk and the finishing stretch. It's like booking took over and they had to overdo an angle that took the whole match down for a while. Still very good/excellent overall, with Punk being the MVP, Kofi the most impressive in term of spots and Jericho doing a terrific heel job, while Miz was a workhorse and Ziggler a bump freak.

John Cena vs HHH vs Randy Orton vs Sheamus vs Ted DiBiase vs Kofi Kingston (Elimination...

15 February 2018 - 06:03 PM

The most interesting things here are not in the match itself, which is a mostly snoozefest. What strikes me is that the same exact match could be presented today, in 2018. Eight years later. There's almost zero difference in the presentation, the announcing (except it's way worse now with the social media shit and Orwellian corporate talk) and even most of the workers, who already have been champions a thousand times by that time. It really paints the picture of how stale the company has been in the last 10/15 years.


Stale also describe this match. Orton, in full Viper mode (meaning he does ridiculous overplayed maneurisms). Sheamus, who was the World champ back then already (!!!). Ted DiBiase Jr. (yeah, sorry, can't call him just Ted DiBiase). Three guys with zero charisma, dull look, dull work. The noughties black hole in all its glory.


Kofi Kingston is there to bring another flavor I guess. He's like a worst RVD there. Crazy he's been in the company that long and having his best years with the New Day. Not too good sequence with Sheamus.


HHH comes in and gets a big pop. He's clearly the biggest star next to Cena. Otherwise, the crowd really doesn't give much of a fuck. Trip is also the second best guy here. Behind Cena.


Orton. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz




No blood hurt. No sick bump. No use of the gimmick really (except for that time where Orton & Dibiase tried to... hang Kofi on the fence ? Mmkay... that was awkward). Trip is taking the biggest bumps on the steel too. Old-school trooper.


Cena finally brings life to this debacle of nothingness. Who cares about the order of elimination at this point. He wins. Then they re-do the old "Cena has to face a guy after winning the Chamber and lose his title". Wow. Creativity zero.


Worst chamber match easily. Boring as fuck. Cena was the MVP. Followed by Trip, who put him over at the end. Post match was stupid and rehashed.


(this is also the first time I really noticed annoying camera work... and Cena looking at the Mania sign... yeah, the 10's are there, for bett... well, for the worst)