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JvK reviews pimped matches from late 90s-10s

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#21 Bierschwale

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Posted 29 August 2015 - 11:36 PM

Angle was injured at that point, they hype his return a little on commentary. I really love Tajiri as FIP in that match.

#22 JerryvonKramer

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Posted 30 August 2015 - 12:01 AM

Sheamus vs. The Big Show (10/28/12)

Commentary team seems to be Cole and JR. JBL is there too. It's occurred to me that there's a curious parallel between Michael Cole and Tony Schiavone. Of course, people's gut reaction would be to say "but Cole is nowhere near as good as Schiavone was". But Cole in 2015 is Schiavone in 2000.

Hype package: Sheamus is the world champ here. He has been using the brogue kick and picking up a lot of wins with it. Until Big Show caught his leg. Big Show says his knock out punch is harder than Sheamus's kick. "I'm a giant" says Show. "Something something, I'm very pale and Irish", says Sheamus. I want to pause here to criticise one very small and specific thing that bugs me about the modern product: it's the intonation on the promos. Big Show says a line, and then he pauses. The break is always [pause] exactly in the middle. The intonation is [pause] exactly the same. And it doesn't matter who is delivering the promo, they all sound the same, same delivery, same break in the middle (a caesura poetry fans), same hard pause at the end of the sentence. When did they start doing that? I think HHH has always done it, but the entire roster does it now. Hate that delivery style. The setup for this match, punch vs. kick, is laughably simple. It's so pro wrestling I have to laugh. But hype package gets a 2/10. Random aside, in uni, an acquaintance of mine once claimed to have the hardest kick in the UK. A claim so ridiculous coming from him in his cockney accent that it made us laugh hard. He then wanted to prove that he had the hardest kick in Britain. Ha ha.

Big Show overpowers Sheamus to start, and he's come to fight. This looks set to be a brawl. Dolph Ziggler is watching this. He has the briefcase. Sheamus with a block shot to Show's leg, but he bails. I am assuming Sheamus is the face here. He is on the attack now, some spirited clubbing blows, but Show cuts him off and dumps him.

JBL doing a very good job on commentary getting the size and threat of the Giant over, especially the first time you ever face him. Sidewalk slam by him now. Headbutt. Steps in him. Sheamus looks stunned by the power of Big Show, they've done a good job of building the giant back up here by the looks of things. Throws him over the announce table. Elbow drop take down thing. He's giving Sheamus a hell of a pounding here. He keeps trying to come back and it's like hitting a brick wall. Walks into a kick by Show.

His body has welts and bruises on it which the commentators talk about. Yeah but the thing is, Sheamus has that ginger skin, so I don't know if it counts. I reckon they bruise more easily. Sheamus tries another comeback. Bear hug by Big Show. Sheamus tries to punch his way out. Tries a slam. Buckles. Splash from the second rope by the giant, two only. He goes for the chokeslam, but Sheamus counters with a DDT. Cover gets two.

Big Show does hit the chokeslam now. Cover gets two only! Misses an elbow. Sheamus goes for the cloverleaf. But can't get it on, and they go outside. Back in. Knee lift. Show goes down finally. Hits the White Noise. Two only! Goes for the kick. Show catches, hits the KO punch. Cover gets two! Show seems demoralised. He hooked the leg and everything. Goes for it again, misses. Brogue kick. Cover gets ... Two only! I actually thought that would be the finish. He goes for another kick and Show catches him with the punch! And that is three! Wow. New world champ.

This is the sort of match you wish Show had worked his entire career, in terms of how it was booked, presented and wrestled. I feel like I can compare it fairly to Harley Race vs. Andre, another giant vs. World Champ match. And I give this one the edge, although this was a brawl and that was a more technical bout during which Andre showed more vulnerability vs. a heel champ, here Show was the heel. I thought they worked this perfectly. And this has to be a contender for Show's career match. You just wish that we hadn't seen him pinned and Angle Slammed a million times. But if you put that out of mind, this is the Big Show that could have been. A monster, too big, too powerful, too vicious for even a plucky and determined Irishman to overcome. Really good.


The Hardy Boyz vs. MNM (12/3/06)

It seems like at this point the Hardys had dropped the "Boyz" tag. Jeff was IC champ. This was from WWECW's December to Dismember. Refreshing lack of ladders for this one. Melina has nice hair. Joey Styles on commentary with Tazz.

Bit of Mercury and Nitro working over Matt to start, before a double wheel barrow thing by the Hardys. Nitro misses a somersault which gives Jeff a chance to tag out. If Ventura was on commentary here, he'd be totally lambasting Nitro for trying that move when he was in total control. Absolutely stupid spot. Matt runs into an elbow. But then gets a sort of sit out crucifix power bomb from the top on Nitro. Nitro is up almost immediately if nothing happened. Absurd. Excessive. He barely sold it.

Mercury is in. Tags in and out. Nitro is acting like he's fresh basically. Awful. That power bomb should have been a genuine high spot. It's almost like it was a transition into a FIP sequence. Melina screams. Hating this so far.

Superman Nitro now pounds on Matt. They go for a double suplex but Matt counters with the double DDT. They kick Jeff off the apron, page out of Jumbo Tsuruta's playbook there. Poetry in motion on Matt by Mercury. Melina screams again. Matt gets the tag, Jeff with a Tito Santana flying burrito. Front powerbomb thing. Nothing in this match has any impact at all. Fans bust out an EC-dub chant. Nitro dives over the top rope onto Matt and Mecury outside. Jeff now dives from the top rope onto everyone.

Twist of fate by Matt. Swanton by Jeff but it misses. Superman Nitro still looks like he's just started the match. You wouldn't know that literally 1 minute before this he took Jeff Hardy coming off the top to the outside. Double catapult on Jeff. Mercury similarly seems fresh, that twist of fate from mere seconds ago? Distant memory. This is an appalling style which I wish never had existed. Melina screams some more to pour more pain onto my misery.

Nitro dumps Jeff under the bottom rope. Melina sneaks in with a kick. Mercury in. Leg drop. Mercury attacks the kidney area of Jeff. Superman Nitro with an elbow over the top rope onto Jeff who is across Mercury's knee, cool double team spot. Reverse chinlock. They try another double catapult but he springs back off the turnbuckle like Vega out of Street Fighter 2. Matt in with clotheslines and some slams and things. Lacked real fire to be honest. Leg drop from the top on Nitro. Cover gets two. Some other stuff happens but it results in stereo superplexes by the Hardys. Melina gets on the apron. Tries to slap Jeff, who blocks. Nitro accidentally gives her a massive drop kick!

Snapshot on Jeff, but Matt saves the cover. Nitro and Mecury still seem like they have been through absolutely nothing. These two are the worst, like the fucking pits of heel tag teams. They put Jeff on the top rope. They try a super snapshot. Double bulldog by Matt to save. Swanton by Jeff. That's it thank god.

This was awful. Just the worst crap. I hate this style. No move has any impact at any time, with the sole exception of Jeff missing the swanton the first time. Mecury and Nitro sold basically nothing in this match. Moves register for a split second (the bump) and then they are forgotten about. What's the point of doing all the huge spots if they mean nothing? Just awful. I hated this. Worst match I've sat through so far.


Let's call it a night.

#23 Johnny Sorrow

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Posted 30 August 2015 - 12:12 AM


Parv, you stink. That Summerslam match, while a bit over rated , and NOT as good as Mania 13, is fucking awesome. The build to it was super important and you obviously didn't bother with it.
Which is sloppy criticism of a performance, and I'm ashamed of you and you need to think about what you've done. And then say you're sorry for being a dumb bell.

You're talking about Austin vs Angle here right? I thought I gave it a fair shake no? I even watched the hype package.


I'm the dummy. I was talking about Survivor Series Austin vs Bret.

#24 Jingus

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Posted 30 August 2015 - 09:43 AM

Orton goes into his cardboard box and takes out a bag. What is that? Thumb tacks! He pours them over the ring. Goes for the RKO but Foley counters and Orton takes a huge amount of tacks right in the back. Shit. Cover gets, two only! Wow. They are stuck in his hand and he's trying to prise them off. He seems genuinely perturbed. Foley goes after him. They go to the back. Lawler: "I've just witnessed the passion of Randy Orton" -- one great call in over twenty years of horrendous commentary!

The craziest part of that moment: watch when Orton goes into the tacks, how his facial expression and body language kinda changes after a brief moment. When he first takes the bump, he's selling: he might as well be shrieking Ric Flair's "OH GAWD!" But after a few seconds, the look on his face changes. I think that's when the pain of actually just having been stabbed a hundred times managed to cut through all the adrenalin and endorphins. This ain't the Legend Killer getting his comeuppance, it's Randal Orton the human being suddenly realizing that he's in way over his head and in a startling amount of agony.

#25 tim

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Posted 30 August 2015 - 11:38 AM

I don't recall that Hardys/MNM match in December ever being pimped.  The highly regarded one is at the 2007 Royal Rumble.

#26 goc


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Posted 30 August 2015 - 11:41 AM

That was probably my fault because I couldn't remember which one of them was supposed to be the really good one. I did remember that it was pretty much the only match off December to Dismember that got any praise.

#27 Bierschwale

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Posted 30 August 2015 - 12:06 PM

I'm a bigger fan of the DtD match than the one from the Rumble. I don't really remember MNM's selling as anything bad.

#28 Loss

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Posted 30 August 2015 - 02:23 PM

The thing that really stands out to me about how Eddy worked in his 2004-2005 babyface run is that it required some really quick thinking on his feet. Yes, I suppose he could have a general idea of what fun cheating spots he wanted to pull off, but to actually have the timing and psychology to pull them off in a way that works is something else entirely. On top of that, he also had to understand wrestling's norms pretty deeply to pull off something so creative. He added these wrinkles to his ringwork as his body was breaking down and it added a few years to his career. It often felt like Eddy was doing an oil painting in the land of guys using crayons. I'm not convinced there is a wrestler currently in WWE who is smart enough (read: quick thinking enough) or skilled enough to do what Eddy was doing at that stage of his career. It wasn't merely cheating, it was also the type of cheating he could do and ensure that he was still cheered -- the philosophy behind the babyfaces-pretend-to-tag-behind-the-ref's-back was expanded to define an entire character and working style. Yes, it was an audience predisposed to love him and that always helps, but it would have been a comedy gimmick or even Wrestlecrap in the wrong hands. 

#29 El-P



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Posted 30 August 2015 - 02:32 PM

I don't recall that Hardys/MNM match in December ever being pimped.


I pimped it a few months ago during my WWECW watch.;)

#30 Mr. Lacelle

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Posted 30 August 2015 - 04:13 PM

I'd like to read a review of Cesaro vs John Cena from Raw in Feb. 2014. My favourite Cena match of all time.

#31 Bierschwale

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Posted 30 August 2015 - 11:12 PM

How about the Chris Harris-James Storm Texas death match? TNA's best ever match!

#32 goc


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Posted 30 August 2015 - 11:19 PM

How about the Chris Harris-James Storm Texas death match? TNA's best ever match!

As good as that match is and I think Parv would probably like it, I don't think it really fits this deal because neither of those guys is really a contender for GWE and definitely not for Parv's list.

#33 Bierschwale

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Posted 31 August 2015 - 12:11 AM

I missed that preface, so yeah, you're right. On just "Would this be a JerryvonKlassic or not?" terms, though, I really wanted to throw it in.

#34 MFoy

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Posted 31 August 2015 - 08:34 AM

I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on some of the Smackdown six stuff. Benoit/Angle from Unforgiven on 9/22/02 and the Observer MOTY, Benoit and Angle vs. Edge and Rey from No Mercy on 10/20/02 are two that come to mind. Actually, the Taker/Lesnar cell match from that same No Mercy show is another one I'd be curious to read about.

#35 Grimmas


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Posted 31 August 2015 - 08:47 AM

Actually, the Taker/Lesnar cell match from that same No Mercy show is another one I'd be curious to read about.

That match is so great. 

#36 ...TG

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Posted 31 August 2015 - 11:58 AM

Chris Benoit vs. William Regal (5/25/00)

I have never seen this match, Josh Matthews mentioned it on commentary. It's from the Brian Pillman Memorial Show 2000.

Regal almost works this World of Sport style to start with hand work and takeovers. Greco Roman Knuckle lock strength spot. Inziguri by Benoit. Action goes outside. Back in, multiple Germans. Regal with a belly to belly from the top! He's got colour in the same place on his forehead as the velocity match, it's almost like that match was a tribute to this one. Series of nearfalls.

Tombstone by Regal, reversed, Benoit misses the diving headbutt. Dragon suplex by Benoit. Crossface and Regal taps. Perhaps a bit too quickly.

Honestly, the Velocity match was so much better. Not nearly as much psychology here and I'm not sure that Regal is best suited working bombfest sprints trading suplexes with Benoit.


I was at this live, and it was amazing. I think I've seen it once or twice since, and I don't know if I want to see it again. I'm happy with my memory of it. I'm not going to go all Meltzer and say no one should rewatch things, but there's no way it can live up to my memory of it. IIRC, Regal was just out of rehab and this was his first big match back. Or maybe he had just been let go for the final time from WCW? (Wikipedia is unclear.) In any event, he hadn't wrestled a serious match in quite a while, it's a crowd full of hardcores, so everyone in the building knows Regal's issues. I'm sure he wanted to show not just the crowd, but the wrestling world good he could be. So all that (and the natural inflation that any match involving Benoit during that time) got wrapped up in the match's rep. I'm surprised, and pleased, that it was mentioned on WWE commentary in 2005, even on a smaller show.

#37 Sidebottom

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Posted 31 August 2015 - 12:01 PM

Disagree with the Bret / Austin SS96 opinions. I remember watching it about a year ago and thinking it held up strongly. More importantly, upon my original viewing as a kid, I remember being on the edge of my seat. It was one of those deals where I REALLY didn't want the classless Austin to win as much as I wanted by beloved Bret to win. I remember being gripped by the action and elated at the outcome. That bit at the end of the match where Vince shake Bret's hand and congratulates him on a great match - that was probably the real feeling at the time. 

#38 JerryvonKramer

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Posted 31 August 2015 - 08:02 PM

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley (8/20/06)

Before the match, Foley is with Melina. They have having second thoughts, but after Melina questions him, Foley freaks out and is ready. 0/10. This is from Summerslam and is an I Quit match. JR and Lawler on commentary.

Foley ambushes to start and gets the mandible claw on with socko early. Gets on the mic, "say it!" No chance. Gets the barbed wire. Flair comes back. Low blow. Flair gets barbed wire socko and nails some chops with it. The barbed wire board comes out now, Foley rams Flair with it. And again. Elbow drop with the board! "Say it!" "Kiss my ..." Flair is a bloody mess already.

Thumb tacks all over the ring now by Foley. Bodyslam by Foley right onto the tacks. "You son of a bitch, you're going to suffer!" screams Foley. Barbie comes out, Foley mashes it in Flair's eyes until he hits a low blow for a reprieve. Flair's face is very red with blood. He gets on the mic now, "you quit or I'll kill you right here".

Foley takes a big bump to the outside and seems injured. Refs come to check on him as well as Melina. Match seems to be over. "Wait a minute, this isn't a lay down on your ass match, it's an I quit match, get your ass in here Foley!" Flair grabs him and rolls him into the ring.

Barbie to be face by Flair. Drives it like a post. Melina throws the towel in and says he quits. "She does not quit for him!" He goes to hit Melina but Foley says, "I quit! I quit!" What? Was this a shoot? What happened here? Did Foley get legit injured? Don't get that finish.

This was not a good match. Everything happened way too quickly. All of the different weapons and things came out too soon, and since Flair was the babyface in this deal I don't think Foley really had enough heat in the body of the match. Alright, barbed wire to the face, bodyslam on thumb tacks, both got to hurt, but they didn't build to that at all so it was all over in like five minutes. And then I dunno, what happened to Foley to make him so hurt? This one fell flat to me.


Cesaro vs. John Cena (2/17/14)

Cesaro was managed by Zeb Colter at this point. Ron Simmons was trending on Twitter, why? Cole and JBL on commentary. Oh, Lawler there too.

Headlock by Cesaro to start, headlock takeover by Cena. Hiptoss. Arm bar by Cesaro. Headlock takeover. Tiltawhirl backbreaker. European uppercut. Bit of king of the mountain.

Chinlock. Cena comes back with a backbreaker. After the a break we get a fall away slam into a pin attempt by Cesaro. Some more stuff, before Cena applies an STF and Cesaro counters and nails a gut wrench suplex. Uppercut. Cena gets Cesaro down for the five knuckle shuffle. Cool spot now as Cesaro launches Cena up in the air and uppercuts him on the way down. Tornado DDT by Cena. Big uppercut by Cesaro sends Cena flying off the top rope.

Superplex from the other side of the apron by Cesaro. Wow, that's a unique spot. Cover still gets two only. STF! Cena applying the hold. Swing time from Cesaro. Cover gets two only. This is awesome chant from the crowd. Big clothesline by Cena. AA and cover gets three.

Aside from a couple of cool spots, I thought this was pretty unremarkable. First ten minutes were just some mat exchanges, nothing to write home about, before bigger moves after the break. Cesaro has some impressive raw strength and a nice uppercut. But this didn't have a great flow for me. Cesaro had a long time on offense in order to go through the gears and show off his offensive arsenal -- perhaps my favourite thing in wrestling -- but that's not really how the heat stretches were worked. Cena was kind of in Backlund mode here: not staying down, constantly countering or trying to mount comebacks and that disrupted the flow of Cesaro getting real heat. And even within the scope of a fifteen minute TV match, we got into false-finish-vile territory near the end. So I wasn't much of a fan of the structure of this one. Cesaro looks alright to me, he's never looked like this really great worker when I've seen him. His frustration when he put Cena away didn't really register much, and if people wonder why he doesn't get pushed much, it's probably because Vince thinks he lacks charisma. He wouldn't be wrong on the evidence of this. Some solid work but nothing to light the world on fire.


Chris Harris vs. James Storm (5/13/07)

This is called slumming it. TNA seems a lot more Southern than I recall here. Crowd busts out a TNA chant. They brawl in the crowd to start. Commentators are Mike Tenay and Don West.

Harris does a crossbody from the top of the ring all the way to the other side of the railing. Pretty huge spot. Cover gets three. And Storm has a ten count to get to his feet. The Texas Death match has more variants than any other stip.

Storm smashes Harris in the face, and did he bust him open? Harris is bleeding and looks stunned. It was a pretty stiff chop to the face. Storm sets up a table in the middle of the retarded six-sided ring. Uppercut. Tries a hurricanrana from the top, but Harris blocks. Sunset flip. Harris tries a sharpshooter. Instead he catapults Storm into the bottom of the table. Ouch, nasty spot and Storm has a gusher himself now. Crimson flowing here.

Spinning powerbomb thing by Storm into the table. Again nasty looking. Cover gets three. Harris is up at nine, barely. Storm goes and gets another table, he's bleeding onto it. Sets it up outside. Back in and DDT by Storm. Grabs a trash can. Harris spears him onto that table. Tennessee Jackie Moore pushes Harris off Storm. Harris grabs a chair. Super kick by Storm! Cover gets, two only! First match in history for there to be two straight three counts before the first nearfall, ha ha!

Trash can lids battle now. Catatonic onto the trash can by Storm. Cover gets two! West explains the psychology of the nearfalls on commentary ... Pride won't let either drop a three count to the other's finisher. Gail Kim comes out to eject Moore. Both men have bottles, and Harris smashes Storm in the face with one. Glass powders out in his hand. Cover gets three and Storm can't get up by ten.

This is a heated and gritty southern brawl that feels like one. Both men felt like they wanted it, and both gave a lot and bled a lot. A couple of spots felt overly telegraphed and choreographed for me in such a blood feud type match. For example, when Storm set up that table outside which wasn't paid off for another minute or so. Why was he setting up a table instead of trying to ram a leg of it down Harris's throat? But I think this had enough other wild moments to overcome niggles like that. Overall, I thought it was very good.


Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle (9/22/02)

Rikishi stink faces both men in the hype: 0/10. I haven't enjoyed three previous matches involving these guys, see here: http://prowrestlingo...ngle/?p=5660409

Benoit tries for the crossface early. Angle takes over. Backbreaker. Continues to focus on the midsection. Misses a shoulder barge and hits the post. Back suplex by Benoit, lands on the injured shoulder. So we have midsection vs. shoulder here.

Belly to belly by Angle. Two German suplexes by Benoit. Angle elbows out and does two of his own. Benoit elbows out. German! Angle breaks, German! Another one. A third. All in, eight Germans then. Angle goes for the Angleslam, Benoit reverses with a sick overhead back suplex thing. Goes to the top, Angle runs over to belly-to-belly him from the top. Ankle lock. Several countered tombstones culminates in a shoulder breaker by Benoit. Diving headbutt from the top to at same shoulder, Crossface! I like how Benoit is still focusing on the shoulder.

Angle gets in an ankle lock and manages to reverse the hold into that. Alternating cross faces and ankle locks now. Angle gets on the crossface, and Benoit gets in a sneaky flash pin using the ropes. Angle is pissed and Benoit has stolen the win.

This was a bombfest which was trying to tell a particular story: "anything you can do, I can do better". They were going for parity. Angle hits a German, Benoit hits a German. Angle does a move and gets it countered, Benoit does. Rinse repeat. Despite that, they also managed to work in some basic psychology, Benoit's injured midsection sort of got forgotten about, but Angle's injured shoulder played right through the match. "Go go go" would be one phrase for this one, and we did get to see some very well executed bombs, but it all felt a bit light and frothy. Match was like a firework, burned brightly for a while before fading away very quickly. I mean as I'm typing this, Eric Bishcoff has two lesbians with him and has brought out Stephanie and is promising a threesome. I've completely forgotten about Angle vs. Benoit. We don't get a real les-up. Bischoff sends them away and then I turned it off.


Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle vs. Edge and Rey Mysterio (10/20/02)

This is from No Mercy. Cole and Tazz. Steph was all over the TV in 2002 seemingly as SD GM. In the build, Angle and Benoit were not getting along when tagging as part of a tournament. This match was the final to crown the new tag champs. Intros take forever as all four men come out individually.

Rey and Angle to start. Angle dominates and throws Rey at Edge disrespectfully. Rey isn't having it, he says come on. Angle is toying with him in a reverse waist lock so Ret stamps on his foot. Hurricanrana. Payback slapping Angle on the back of the head (Kurt did the same earlier). Edge in. Benoit in. Some stuff. Stomach breaker by Edge. Backbreaker. Oklahoma roll. Dirty knee from the apron by Angle. Instant payback as Edge spears him off the apron the next time. Cheap shot by Angle. Neckbreaker by Benoit. Angle in. Stomps. Looks like Edge is our FIP, curious you'd expect it to by Rey.

Knee lift by Angle. Cover gets two. Body scissors and a chinlock by Angle. Belly to belly suplex. Benoit in. Some strikes. Three German suplexes. Goes to the top. Edge knocks him. Superplex! Both men top. Hot tag!

Hurricanrana. Drop toehold into the second turnbuckle. Kick to the face. Leg drop from the top across the throat when Benoit was hanging over second. But Benoit counters something into the crossface. Right in the centre. Edge breaks it. Drop kick by Rey. 619 countered by Benoit who goes to do a shoulder breaker, but Edge hits a missile drop kick for a hot near fall. Rey goes up top, Kurt over to belly to belly from the top. Benoit covers for a hot two. Very exciting sequence.

Angle in and they are attacking the kidney area of Rey. This is our second FIP sequence. Doubt heat people. Backbreaker. Suplex. Benoit in. This has been a great FIP sequence on Rey. Edge gets the tag and hits several moves, cover is broken. Spear by Edge on Benoit, Rey in with the rodeo. Angle is on the top, hurricanrana by ?Rey. Benoit tries a giving headbutt, ends up nailing Angle. Benoit trips Edge goes for another spear, and locks in the crossface. 619 by Rey on Benoit. Angle hits the Angleslam. Ankle lock on Edge. Insane chaos in this match. So many close saves and nearfalls. Ankle lock on Edge again by Angle. Countered! Edge with the ankle lock. Reversed! Edge taps.

Wow, finishing stretch went on forever, and I'm not a fan of ankle lock / crossface endless reversals, and we had huge huge finisher spam, but, but but but ... This was a really hot match with two fantastic FIP sequences showcasing Angle and Benoit's stellar offense in a structure that let it look great. I dug this a lot. Rey and Edge were perfectly fine in their roles too. Good performances from all four guys.


Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker (10/20/02)

Same show, No Mercy, Taker's hand is officially broken after a vicious attack backstage by Brock. Hype video: 6/10.

All Taker to start. Heyman has a hideous ponytail at this time. Brock takes over, works the arm because of of course, Taker's hand is broken. Brock is busted open soon enough. Taker blasts him into the cage a number of times. Cheese grater action.

After some more of this, Taker manages to grab a hold of Heyman's tie and smashes him against, the cage, so he has colour too. Lesnar comes back. Heyman hands him a belt. Chair shot. They have Taker's broken hand tied with the belt. Brock smashes the hand with the chair so hard that the leather belt breaks in two. Taker comes back but his hand is really injured. That attack by Brock was mental.

He rips at the cast. Takes a boot to the face. Heyman has been screaming shit from the outside like a demented madman. Back in the ring and Lesnar rips the cast off. The broken hand is now exposed. Brock stamps on it. Bends it around the rope. Sits Taker on the top rope and then swings from the roof to kick him in the face. Brutal. Taker pushes him off. Taker walks across the top rope. Elbow drop from there. Cover gets two. Taker looks at his broken hand. Jaw breaker by Lesnar over the apron. Taker kicks him out of the ring. Plancha! Taker can't lift the stairs because of his hand. Brock can though and smashes him in the face with them. Oh man, he's pouring blood. A second sick shot, level of blood on Taker is insane. It's like sheet blood over his face. He comes back a bit nevertheless. Spinebuster by Brock. This juice job by Taker is something else. Clothesline with the broken hand. Stamps on Brock's hand for payback. And again. And again. Blood is literally just gushing out of Taker's face. F5? No, chokeslam! Cover gets two only!

Brock tries to go for the Last Ride, but Taker backdrops him. Hits a DDT. Cover gets two. Taker goes for the Last Ride. Brock comes back. Pummelling Taker now, but he manages to get in a Last Ride. Cover gets ... Is it three? No, Brock has a hand on the ropes! Taker tries a tombstone, countered. Cover gets three and the win for Lesnar.

Wow, this was a great match which had a lot of things: psychology built around the injured hand, real animosity, a truly sick juice job, some insane spots (chair shots on hand which broke the belt, stair shots), and a hot finishing stretch. Really fantastic. Like Orton vs. Foley, it just misses out on that full five because it's missing the true hatred / humiliation factor of my blood feud pantheon. But great stuff.


John Cena vs. Justin Bradshaw Layfield (5/22/05)

Hype package here is built around neither guy being a quitter and so "I Quit" match. JBL says that to make another man say "I Quit" means to own his soul. Strong promos from both guys. 7/10. Cena was still quite rapper-y at this stage. JBL comes out in a limo. Commentators are Cole and Tazz again. Someone has misspelled "bourgeois" on a post called JBL a loser, a true wrestling sign right there folks. Cena comes out with a truck that Jack Burton out of Big Trouble in Little China might drive. He kicks the bull horns off JBL's limo while he walks past it. He is clearly over as babyface here and JBL strongly booed. Ah, the spinner belt. Lame. As. Fuck.

Cena with headlocks to start. Arm drag, now he works the arm. I swear Cena was watching Backlund videos. JBL comes back with clubbing blows. DDT. Covers. Ref reminds him there are no covers. Clothesline sends JBL to the outside. Out into the crowd, JBL on top. Neckbreaker on the concrete. Grabs a monitor. Gets in his face: "say it or your ass is mine". No cigar. Cena with a flurry, but goes shoulder first into the steps. JBL grabs a belt and whips Cena with it. Chokes Cena around the ring post. Cena pulls it off with real force though and JBL hurts his shoulder. He's still on top though and goes to the announce table. "Your rap career, your movie career, you stupid son of a bitch! Say goodbye to it now or quit!" "Kiss my ass!" Back drop through the table for JBL. But then Bradshaw grabs a chair and cracks Cena. JBL was a very good heel. Cen has been busted open with than chair shot. JBL has the steps. Crack on the skull. Disrespectful kicks to his head. Mic shot to the head. Cena is bleeding a lot here. Kicks and stomps by JBL. Clothesline from Hell! And a second one. Cena seems to be choking on his own blood. Third Clothesline from Hell!

Now JBL grabs Cena's chain thing. Chokes him out with it. He is totally covered in blood. Low blow by JBL as Cena makes his comeback. "I told you you would bleed, I don't lie, quit!" JBL smashes Cena with the mic. "I want my championship back now quit you punk ass bitch!" This seems to revivify Cena, side slam. Five knuckle shuffle. FU. JBL slithers out of the ring, gives Cena the finger and leaves. Cena goes after him. Slams his head on the bonnet of the limo. Slam onto the limo. JBL though gives him a neckbreaker on the hood of the limo to cut him off. Boot to the face. They are on the stage area now. JBL grabs a live electrical cable out of a TV and chokes Cena with it. He powers out of the cable and smashes JBL's head clean through the TV set! JBL is of course bleeding now too. Smashes him into the window of the limo now. Which smashes. Onto the roof of the limo. Suplex by Cena! JBL tries to sneak into the limo. Cena drags him out and whips him into the door. And again. Breaks it off. They go up a ramp now. Onto the truck. Cena smashes JBL into a gas canister. But he snaps off a DDT in desperation, on the truck.

He grabs some more wire no and chokes Cena more. Up onto the lighting rig. And he is trying to hang Cena. But he has the mic and smashes JBL down who falls onto the table. Cena must have lost two clear pints of blood. He grabs the smoke stack off the truck. An actual fucking chimney, this is nuts. JBL grabs the mic and quits, just scared for his life. Wow. Cena runs with the chimney and smashes him through the glass Judgement Day sign anyway.

Holy fucking shit, this match was nuts. Absolutely tremendous heel performance from JBL and an equally good babyface performance from Cena. This match was laid out and booked perfectly from start to finish. JBL was truly brutal and sick in the heat and pushed Cena to his total limits, the level of brutality and escalation of violence is something else. I thought this had absolutely everything: psychology is perfect. You have the mother of all heel beatdowns followed by the mother of all babyface comebacks. And JBL reverting to chickenshit heel mode towards the end was brilliant, of course he tries to escape, of course he quits before he can be hit with the massive steel fucking chimney. Phenomenal match and the best I've seen on these reviews so far. I believed the hatred and it did go beyond just wrestling and so, yes, it joins the pantheon.


#39 Loss

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Posted 31 August 2015 - 08:11 PM

Do you have stuff from Jericho's feuds with The Rock, Michaels and Rey on tap? I just ask because I'm curious what you think of those. I'm really enjoying these reviews.

#40 WingedEagle

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Posted 31 August 2015 - 08:55 PM

I'm not enjoying these review b/c this mf'er has now given me motivation to rewatch a few matches when I'm supposed to be on a PWG & 80s Japan kick :)

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